Close Encounters of the Ed Kind
by Half-Wit Ed-Boy
Summary: A few years after the Eds find Eddy's Brother, the Eds have resumed their semi-normal lives. On the summer vacation after their sophomore year, a strange vessel crashes in the junkyard, leading to what possibly could be the best summer of their lives.
1. Fut-Ed-rama

**Episode 1: **_**Fut-Ed-rama**_

_****_**Disclaimer: Ed, Edd n Eddy are property of Danny Antonucci, AKA Cartoon, and Cartoon Network Studios. This is a fan-based story and nothing more, so please support the official release! The other characters, however, are mine! Enjoy the fic! :D**

"Finally! Summer vacation!" Eddy yelled, disembarking from the school bus for the last time.

"Yes, indeed," his close friend, Eddward, replied as he, too, stepped off the school bus. "Seems like the semesters fly by every year…"

"Guys…" Their tallest friend, Ed said, concern spread across his face.

"Take in that sweet summer air, boys!" Eddy wrapped his arms around his friends and held them close. "This is the start of the greatest summer of our lives!"

"But Eddy, technically, summer doesn't start until June twenty-first!"

"Guys!" Ed reiterated, still obviously concerned.

"Why do you always have to be such a buzzkill, Double D?" Eddy growled at his sock-hatted friend.

"Guys, I've lost my glasses!" Ed finally blurted out.

"Um, Ed, they're on your head…" Double D grabbed Ed's glasses and placed them on his face where they belonged.

"Ed can see once more!" Ed embraced his friends with a bone-crushing bear hug.

"Don't…mention…it…Ed…" Double D wheezed.

"Let…go…Ed…!" Eddy pried his friend off of him. "As I was saying, we've got a lot of stuff to do this summer, boys! Because cha-ching!" Eddy whipped out his wallet and flashed it at Ed and Double D.

"Why Eddy, you've got your learners permit! Congratulations! Now Ed and I just need to…"

"Too late, Double D!" Ed pulled his shoe off and shoved it in Double D's face, showing _his_ learner's permit stuck to the bottom with chewed gum.

"Looks like you're the only one without a permit there, buddy boy!" Eddy teased. "Don't worry, we'll learn ya once we get the van fixed up!"

"Um, th-that's okay, Eddy…" Double D stammered, obviously afraid. "I think I'll just study my driver's manual and-"

"Save the studying for next year! Like I said, me and Ed'll learn ya to drive!"

"That's _teach_ Eddy…" Double D corrected. The Eds began walking down the sidewalk.

The Eds have all three grown up since they went off to find Eddy's brother, only to find he was just a big jerk. The Eds were now sophomores at Peach Creek High School, but they were still the same old Eds. Ed had only grown slightly, but was still the tallest Ed. He wore his same clothes and jacket, only he had finally grown into that oversized, green army jacket that he never washed. He also now has to wear a pair of square framed glasses from sitting too close to the TV. Double D hadn't changed much either. He was still obsessed with knowledge and cleanliness, and still wore that black ski cap he had worn most of his life. Eddy had experienced the most physical changes. He was still the shortest Ed, but had grown another two hairs on his head and had started developing his father's large chin and shoulders. But, he was still the same large-mouthed megalomaniac everyone knew and loved (or not.)

"Yo, Ed and Double D!" A voice called after the trio. A teen riding a beat-up old motorcycle cruised up beside the Eds and removed his helmet; Kevin.

"Oh, great!" Eddy said sarcastically. "Ladies and gentlemen, Shovel-chin…"

Kevin hadn't changed much, save for his clothes and peach fuzz. He still wore a red sports cap, however this one had "Peach Creek Crumblers" embroidered on it. He had long since traded his old bike for a slightly junky motorcycle, but he has been working on it since he got it on spring break.

"Can it, dork!" Kevin snarled. "You're not too far behind me…" Kevin grabbed Eddy's growing chin and laughed, infuriating the short Ed-boy. "Anyways, I need to ask Ed and Double D a favor."

"Sure, Kevin," Double D replied.

"I'm starting my summer job this weekend to pay for my new wheels, and I need you, Ed and the dork…I mean, Eddy, to straighten out my garage this Saturday while I'm at work."

"And why should _we_ help _you_?" Eddy asked.

"Because, _Dorky_, I happen to know that you guys are fixing up that old van in the junkyard, and I was going to lend you guys some tools in exchange for cleaning my garage, but since you're not interested, I'll just ask Rolf and see if he…"

"Hey, we'll clean your garage for ya, Kev' ol' buddy, ol' pal!" Eddy exclaimed.

"Alrighty then," Kevin grinned. "If you guys do a good job I might throw in some jawbreakers." All three of the Eds' mouths watered; even in high school they still loved jawbreakers. Kevin put his helmet back on and rode away. "Catch ya' later!"

"Double score!" Eddy yelled. "Not only will we get the van fixed, but we'll get jawbreakers to slurp on while we work on it!"

"I love jawbreakers, Eddy!" Ed said.

"Speaking of the van, Eddy, I bought some carpet powder to de-lice the van with."

"Well then what're we waiting around for? Let's go!" The Eds started to make a mad dash for the junkyard, but someone stood in their way.

"Where do you dorks think _you're_ going?" A voice demanded.

"Naomi…" Eddy sneered.

"Naomi bad for Ed!" Ed wailed, cowering behind Double D, who was shaking uncontrollably.

"We're not afraid of you!" Eddy yelled, standing his ground.

"Really?" Naomi asked, a sinister grin spread across her face.

Naomi was the newest member of the cul-de-sac. She arrived during the Eds' eight-grade year and was the only kid to move in to the new cul-de-sac down the street from the Eds' own home cul-de-sac. She had short, black hair, with a longer strand hanging between her cold, violet eyes. She was like all three Kanker Sisters rolled into one, only she wasn't interested romantically in any of the Eds; she just seemed to enjoy tormenting them along with the other members of the cul-de-sac. She had helped the Eds out on a few occasions, but on a normal day, she was the last person the Eds wanted to run into.

"W-we were j-j-just headed on our way, m-miss Naomi, so I-if you'd be so k-k-kind…"

"You dorks ain't going nowhere!" Naomi interrupted. "I've wailed on every kid in Peach Creek but three…" She grinned even wider at the Eds, her right fist balled up in her left hand.

The Eds recoiled in fear, all three shaking with fear. "Run boys," Eddy mumbled, and in a flash, the Eds took off across the street, bypassing Naomi and heading straight for the junkyard.

"Get back here and take your lumps, ya dorks!" Naomi screeched, running after the Eds.

"Once we get to the junkyard," Eddy panted, "we'll split up and hide. She'll never find us!"

"Pummeling bad for Ed!" Ed cried.

The Eds ran down the lane, the piles of wrecked cars and trash slowly coming into view. Naomi was hot on their heels and gaining fast, nearly able to reach the collar of Ed's smelly jacket. Just as the Eds caught a glimpse of the junkyard, they were struck by a brilliant flash of light from the sky, blinding the Eds and Naomi, causing to stop in their tracks.

"Forget this…" Naomi shrieked as she turned tail and ran to escape the blinding light.

"What the heck is that?" Eddy asked, his hands covering his eyes.

"We're being abducted!" Ed screamed.

"I don't think so, Ed…" Double D said, pointing at the sky.

The light faded, revealing a flaming ball in the sky. It sped towards the ground over a few houses, then pulled up and slowed down a bit. Then, it dove right into the junkyard, creating a huge shockwave. The Eds were all blown backwards into a tree.

"That was strange," Double D remarked, peeling himself from the tree trunk he was embedded in.

"Aliens have landed in the junkyard!" Ed yelled with excitement. "Must touch the aliens!"

"It looks like it landed near our van! It better not have a dent…" Eddy worried.

"Aliens? Please, Ed! It was obviously a meteor or some falling space junk."

The Eds ran towards the junkyard to check out the object and make sure their van was okay. When they got there, the junkyard laid mostly undisturbed, save for a few piles of junk that were knocked over and a huge, blackened ditch in the ground. On the other side was the Ed's van, still sitting on the cinder blocks the Eds left it on, not a scratch on it. Eddy let out a sigh of relief. But there was still the matter of the fallen object. Eddy grabbed a broken hockey stick, Ed grabbed an old umbrella, and Double D grabbed a bent golf club. They peeked around the corner to see a big hunk of burning metal lying in a crater.

"Whoa," all three of the Eds said in awe.

"We're gonna be rich!" Eddy said.

"I'm going to offer them some of my gravy cakes!" Ed beamed.

"It just looks like a giant wad of space junk…" Double D said.

"What're you calling space junk?" A voice from inside yelled.

A door on the side of the ship flew open, revealing a person in a large, baggy, silver suit and holding what looked like a fire extinguisher. The person ran out and began dousing the flames in foam. The Eds ducked behind a junked car and watched the scene unfold.

"Wait, I wanna help, too!" Another voice from inside.

A teenage girl with long blonde hair and a tail ran outside, trying to put on a similar suit, but she just wound up ripping a hole in it and tripping all over herself.

"Oops…" She said, still lying on the ground.

"Don't just lie there," The person with the fire extinguisher yelled. "Help me out, here!"

"I've got this," a mechanical voice stated.

Water spewed from the top of the craft, dousing the flames. The person wearing the suit took off their mask; another girl, only older. She looked to be at least eighteen with short, brown hair. The other one, the blonde, was now up on her feet, splashing around in one of the puddles that formed from the water.

"Who are they?" Eddy asked.

"They look like people," Ed observed.

"Yeah, but they certainly don't look like astronauts…" Double D remarked, looking closely at them.

"We did it!" The blonde girl cheered, kicking water everywhere. "We're not burned up!" She chanted.

"Actually, _I _did it," the mechanical voice corrected. "And you humanoids would have been burned to a crisp by Earth's atmosphere if I hadn't raised the heat shields…"

"Knock that off," the girl in the suit said, hitting the blonde in the head with her fire extinguisher.

"Ouch…"

"Ha-ha, they're funny!" Ed laughed, getting up to walk over to them, but Eddy pulled him back.

"What are you doing? Are you nuts? They could be spies or Feds!"

"They don't seem to be hostile…"

"Okay," the girl in the suit screamed. "Who's the dead-man that called my ship a hunk of junk!?"

"Never mind…"

"Who's back there?" She screamed again, pointing some kind of gun at the car the Eds were hiding behind.

"Woah, don't shoot!" Double D yelled, jumping up and dropping his golf club. The other two Eds followed suit.

"We come in peace!" Ed said.

"Yeah, we had no idea that thing was you're ship, so if you could just chill and put away the gun…"

"Where are we?" The girl asked, still pointing her weapon at the Eds.

"Why, you're in Peach Creek," Double D answered sheepishly.

"What's the year?" The girl asked again, easing her grip on her weapon a bit.

"Um, 1995…"

"1995!?" The girl yelped. "Guess what they say about black holes was right…"

"So… are we cool?" Eddy asked nervously.

"Hang on just a minute. I need to converse with my… friend." The brown-haired girl walked over to the blonde, who was sitting on the ground rubbing her head. "Carrie, we have a problem…"

"You hit me…" Carrie growled, rubbing the large bump on her head.

"Never mind that! You know that black hole we got stuck in?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, it sent us back in time! Waaay back in time! We're in 1995!"

"Cool!" Carrie replied.

"No, not cool! We're going to tell these guys we're astronauts or something, and we're gonna try to get the heck out of here. You got it?"

"Yup!" Carrie replied.

"Now, stick to the plan and don't blow our cover!"

"You got it, boss!" Carrie chirped, saluting her superior.

"TOMAS, you keep quiet. We don't need them asking questions about our technology."

"Very well," the mechanical voice sighed. The two girls walked over to the Eds, who were trying to listen in.

"Sorry about the misunderstanding before," the brown-haired girl said. "I'm Mei-Lin and this is my colleague, Caroline, and we-"

"Woo!" Carrie howled, wiggling her fingers at the Eds. "My name is Carrie and I'm from the fuuuture! Ooooh!" Mei-Lin face-palmed.

"So cool!" Ed beamed.

"I don't believe it," Eddy snarked.

"But we are from the future!" Carrie argued.

"Well, if you're from the future, then what will I do tomorrow?" Eddy asked.

"Carrie…" Mei-Lin said.

"Hmm…." Carrie thought for a minute. "Tomorrow…you will…get up and eat breakfast!"

"Whoa, she's good!"

"Carrie!" Mei-Lin screamed.

"What?"

"You blew our cover!"

"Leave it to a humanoid to be so ignorant…" TOMAS, the mechanical voice, said in disgust.

"The future…" Double D said, examining the wreckage. "This certainly doesn't look like a futuristic craft…"

"Well, I'll admit, she's a bit lackluster, but she's the fastest piece of junk on this side of the Milky Way- oops…" Mei-Lin covered her mouth, realizing she was blowing their cover further.

"What year do you hail from, time-travelers?" Ed asked dramatically.

"That's easy!" Carrie replied. "Uh, um…"

"2625," TOMAS answered.

"Yeah, that."

"What brings you guys to our time period?" Double D asked, getting almost as excited as Ed.

"We were trying to escape some thugs, but got sucked into a black hole," Mei-Lin answered.

"Do tell!" Ed said.

"Yay, story time!" Carrie chimed in.

"You were there, boobs-for-brains!" Mei-Lin snapped. "You should know what happened!"

"Well, I forget!"

"Isn't this amazing, Eddy?" Double D asked his friend. "People from the distant future! Imagine…"

But, Eddy was paying no mind to his smart friend. He was eyeing Carrie the same way he eyed Nazz in the episode "Boys Will Be Eds". The world seemed to stand still as he gazed at her clueless, soot-covered face, light-green eyes, and her large, ample…

"Oh, Eddy!" Ed yelled, breaking Eddy's daydream.

"Huh, what? Where?" Eddy responded. Eddy then noticed that everyone was standing in front of the opening of the craft, staring at him weirdly.

"Mei-Lin invited us to look around in her ship," Double D explained. "Are you coming?"

"Uh, of course!" Eddy ran after them.

"Do I have something on my shirt?" Carrie asked, looking at her shirt.

"Yeah, lots and lots of dirt," Mei-Lin replied dryly. "Watch your steps!" Mei-Lin blasted a small flame with her fire extinguisher.

"Fascinating…" Double D said in awe, looking around.

"Hey, are you guys human?" Ed asked.

"Yup," Mei-Lin answered, Carrie peering over her shoulder. "Well, I am, at least. Carrie's a bit more…complicated." Carrie smiled and wagged her tail.

"Cool…" Ed and Double D both said in awe.

"What is she?" Ed asked, teasing Carrie with a gravy cake.

"She's a Sepian, some kind of extinct, ancient human hybrid race. I can't remember the details. So, who are you guys?"

Eddy was still staring at Carrie, who was happily snapping at the gravy cake Ed was dangling over her head, but the question snapped him out of his daze.

"Huh? Oh, I'm Eddy!"

"And I'm Ed!" Ed then nearly lost his fingers as Carrie finally caught the gravy cake in her teeth and swallowed it.

"And I am Edd also," Double D answered. "But with two D's. My friends call me Double D, so as not to confuse me with Ed."

"Ah," Mei-Lin nodded her head. She then turned her attention to some large pipes. "TOMAS, what is the extent of the damage?"

"Structural damage is only at thirty-eight percent, however, our main power generators have all been burned out, and most of our wiring has melted."

"You said you guys got here by using a black hole?" Double D asked. "How did you know it would send you back in time?"

"Space cadet Ed reporting for duty!" Ed said, wearing Mei-Lin's flame suit.

"Is Carrie single?" Eddy asked.

"Augh, one at a time!" Mei-Lin yelled. "No, we didn't know the black hole would send us back in time. We were trying to escape some thugs, so we jumped to hyperspace, but Carrie decided to eat the navigational computer!" Mei-Lin glared at Carrie.

"What? I was hungry."

"You had snacks!"

"Well, I ate them all!" Carrie retorted, folding her arms under her ample bosom and puffing out her face.

"That's no excuse! You're always trying to eat my ship! Why are you even on my crew!?" Mei-Lin screamed back. Not wanting to get involved, the Eds quietly made their way into the next room.

"I dunno," Carrie growled. "Why don't you ask your talking bug friend?"

"For the last time, TOMAS is an AI unit, not some talking but that lives in the computer!" Carrie merely responded by sticking out her tongue and blowing a raspberry at Mei-Lin.

"Oh, yeah! That was mature!"

"Thank you," Carrie replied angrily. "Hey, what happened to those three other guys?"

"Other room," TOMAS answered. "Humanoids…"

Mei-Lin and Carrie ran into the other room, where the Eds were looking around. It was a lounge of sorts, with an old, worn sofa, a couple of busted reclining chairs, and a piece of glass serving as a TV screen.

"So, this is our lounge," Mei-Lin said. "That piece of glass is our TV, and-"

"Oh, oh, show them my room!" Carrie yelled.

"No one wants to see your messy room…"

"I wanna see it!" Eddy blurted out.

"Yay! Follow me!" Carrie pranced down the hallway, everyone else following behind her. Carrie then stopped in front of an automatic door, which she busted down, revealing her bedroom. All three of the Eds peered inside.

The room was almost as messy as Ed's room. On either side of the room were two huge piles of clothes, all of them dirty. Various articles of clothing and half-eaten junk was strewn across the floor, the dresser in the corner had various shiny objects crammed in it, and everything, _everything_ in the room was riddled with teeth marks. Carrie then ran inside and jumped on her bed, which was just some old mattresses with a mountain of blankets piled on top of it; Sepians liked sleeping in warm places. She then buried herself in them.

"Smelly, smelly, smelly…" Double D remarked, holding his nose.

Eddy picked up one of Carrie's discarded bras. "Woo, PG-13!" Ed swiped it from Eddy and put it over his head. Eddy scowled at Ed.

"Cool!" Ed picked up a chewed training sword and swung it around. "I am Bat-Head!"

"Cut that out!" Eddy snatched the bra off Ed's head. "You're making me look bad…"

"You guys wanna see the bridge?" Mei-Lin asked.

"Thanks, but we better get going," Eddy said. "It's dinner time."

"Aww, but you can't go, yet! You haven't seen my collection of shiny stuff!" Carrie whined.

"We'll do that later," Mei-Lin replied, looking at a holographic screen. "From the looks of this damage, we will have a _lot_ of time…"

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Double D asked.

"I'm afraid not. It looks like we're going to be stuck here for a while."

"Yay!" Carrie cheered, poking her head out from under her blankets.

"C'mon, Ed! We gotta go!" Eddy yanked the sword away from Ed and threw it aside.

"Aw, but I want to stay…" Ed said.

"Okay, I know I just met you three, but could you do me a huge favor?" Mei-Lin asked. "Since our credits won't be any good in your time, I need to try to find a job and work out a cover for me and Carrie tomorrow, and I need you guys to keep her out of my hair all day."

"I don't know," Double D replied. "I guess I could move my schedule around a bit and-"

"Sure, we can do that!" Eddy yelled. "We'll give her a grand tour of the neighborhood!"

"Sounds like fun!" Carrie said.

"Thanks! I wish I could pay you guys…"

Eddy looked around. "I'm sure our van could use some of these broken futuristic parts…"

"You want me to give you technology from the future!?" Mei-Lin folded her arms across her chest. "Ugh, fine, just don't tell anyone where you got it and don't tell anyone we're from the future!"

"Don't worry!" Eddy reassured her. "We're the most trustworthy guys around!"

"For some reason, I highly doubt that…" Mei-Lin mumbled.

**Next episode: "Tour of Eds"- In an attempt to get closer to Carrie, Eddy decides to give her a tour of Peach Creek and teach her how Earth works, but with her short attention span and bottomless appetite, will the Eds be up to the task?**


	2. Tour of Eds

"**Tour of Eds"**

**(Author's note: A bit lengthy, but only because I'm introducing the rest of the cul-de-sac kids. This was meant to be a part-two to the last chapter, but was different enough to warrant another name. Also, I'm thinking of doing a Q&A segment between chapters, but I'm not sure if I'll do it at random or every ten chapters.)**

The first full day of summer vacation, the day most kids sleep in until noon. However, this wasn't the case for the Eds. They had taken up the paper route for the summer to earn some extra cash to fix the van, so they were up before sunrise delivering papers. And with the three of them splitting the job, the work went much smoother than it did in the episode, "Read All About Ed."

"I think that's the last one, Double D," Ed said, cramming a newspaper in Nazz's mailbox.

"Well, I'm spent," Eddy shook his paper bag, showing that it was empty. He then pulled a half-eaten toaster pastry out of his pocket and took a bite.

"And chalk down another fifteen dollars for the van," Double D scribbled down some numbers in his notebook. He had been keeping track of the costs put towards the van since the Eds all agreed to fix it up and share it. "Just one more paper for me to deliver."

"But we delivered papers to everyone on our route! We got everybody!"

"I thought I'd take the liberty in signing up Mei-Lin and Carrie up for a free trial of _The Peach Creek Gazette_," Double D explained. "We were heading that way anyway, so I put them down for a free trial and grabbed an extra newspaper."

"And I dug out some of my old comic books for them to read!" Ed said, pulling out a briefcase stuffed with old comic books.

"Hey, Sockhead, you better have something to take notes with, 'cuz after today, I'm gonna have a girlfriend!"

"Oh?" Double D replied.

"Yup, after today, I'll have that Carrie girl all over me!"

"Really?" Double D asked skeptically.

"Yup, did you see how she was staring at me after we introduced ourselves?"

"If I recall, it was _you_ staring at _her_, Eddy…"

"Well, you recall wrong, Double Sockhead… I'll have Carrie eating out of the palm of my hand by suppertime!"

"Care to make a friendly wager on that, Eddy?" Double D asked slyly.

"I'm listenin'…"

"If you and Carrie are an item by four, nay, five o'clock this afternoon, I'll do your homework for you next year."

"Deal!" Eddy and Double D shook hands. "And I'll wear Ed's underwear the first week of school, unwashed."

"Sounds fair to me," Double D said.

"Already got a pair fermenting for ya, Eddy!" Ed said, wiping his glasses on his coat sleeve. Eddy and Edd stared at their large friend.

"Let's get going, Eddy," Double D said.

At Mei-Lin's ship, the Eds were greeted to the same blackened, burned mass of twisted metal that crashed there yesterday afternoon. Mei-Lin had replaced the metal door with a wooden one she found in the junkyard. The Eds knocked on it, but after two knocks it fell over.

"Oh, hey," Mei-Lin greeted them. She looked down at her new door, now lying on the floor.

"Uh, we can fix that…" Eddy said.

"Don't worry, I hadn't even bolted it to the wall yet. You guys are here early. The sun's barely up."

"Yeah, we run the local paper route. Speaking of which, we thought this would help you with your job search," Double D explained, handing Mei-Lin a newspaper.

"Thanks," she replied, taking the paper and opening it up to the classifieds. "Oh, and Carrie's awake, but she hasn't rolled out of bed yet. It usually takes her a few minutes to get up and moving around." Mei-Lin poured herself some tea and sat down to look over the newspaper.

The Eds ran into Carrie's room, finding it in the same messy, unkempt state it was in yesterday. Carrie's tail poked out from under the mountain of blankets on her bed, twitching rhythmically, and the room felt very humid.

"Is it just me, or is it hot in here?" Double D complained.

"No, I'm frying like an egg," Eddy began sweating heavily.

"This is just like what happened in _The Heat Monster from Mercury_!" Ed exclaimed, sweating just as much as the other two Eds. "The monster steamed his victims before wrapping them up in his long, furry tentacles and biting off their screaming faces!"

Just as Ed finished with his movie monster comparison, Carrie's tail retreated into the pile of blankets as they began to squirm. Freaked out by Ed's ramblings, Ed and Double D backed away until Carrie's head popped out from the top of the pile of blankets.

"Morning," she yawned, revealing her long, sharp teeth.

"The monster is preparing to attack!" Ed said, his imagination running away with him again. "We have to-"

"Shut up, Ed!" Eddy hit Ed with a piece of metal lying on Carrie's floor, knocking him back to reality.

"Hey, I remember you guys!" Carrie exclaimed, crawling out of bed, her hair even messier than it was yesterday.

Eddy slicked back his hair and popped a mint in his mouth. "Yup, your hunka-hunka Eddy is here to show you around our little neighborhood." Double D snickered at him.

"Actually, Eddy, it's still early in the morning, and I'm sure Carrie wants to eat breakfast this morning."

Carrie's stomach growled loudly. "Yeah, I'm hungry." Ed and Double D's stomachs growled, too; they hadn't eaten anything either.

"To breakfast!" Ed yelled, running out of the room.

"Okay, then let's go to my place and grab some Chunky Puffs!" Eddy suggested. "We'll show you how we did breakfast back in the good ol' days!"

"Okay, let me get some good clothes on," Carrie said, removing her pajama top. Realizing Carrie was half nude, Double D blushed and covered his eyes and Eddy just stared at her, slack-jawed.

"Um, maybe we should give Carrie some privacy, Eddy," Double D said, grabbing Eddy's hand as Carrie began removing her pajama pants.

"I'm going to wear my new t-shirt and my favorite shorts," Carrie said, unhooking her bra. She then turned around, noticing everyone had left. "Hey where did they go?"

"Got a little hot under the collar in there, eh?" Eddy snickered, nudging Double D.

"Ugh, not again," Mei-Lin groaned. "She's so bad to do that." Mei-Lin put her newspaper down and yelled, "Carrie, how many times to I have to tell you, you can't undress in front of boys!"

"Sorry, I forgot!" Carrie leaned out of her room, still pulling her red t-shirt over her large breasts. "There, I'm ready!" Carrie stepped out, wearing her red t-shirt, a pair of baggy gym trunks with her name embroidered on the waistband, and a pair of black flip-flops. Her hair was still a mess, large cowlicks sticking up everywhere.

"Carrie, couldn't you at least brush your hair? Or better yet, get it cut? It's almost dragging the ground…"

"I like my hair this way!" Carrie argued. "It keeps me warm at night! And you know I can't brush it without getting the brush stuck in it!"

"Whatever," Mei-Lin groaned. Carrie stuck her tongue out at her.

"I guess we're on our way," Double D said.

"Oh, before you leave, there's a few things about Carrie you should know. She's a big eater, and she's not too picky about what she shoves in her mouth, so you'll have to keep a close eye on her. And she's a lot stronger than she looks and could easily hurt someone, so remind her every once in a while to be careful. And don't leave her anywhere by herself; she's prone to wandering off!" Carrie's stomach growled again and she broke off a piece of metal and took a bite out of it. "Oh, and don't grab her tail; she'll get mad and may bite or hit you with it."

"Okay, okay, we got it!" Eddy exclaimed impatiently. "Let's go get some grub!"

"Yay!" Carrie ran out the door, flailing her arms in excitement.

"Wait, Carrie!" Double D called out to her. "Eddy's house is this way!" The Eds ran towards Eddy's house, Carrie not too far behind them.

After a quick jog, the Eds got to Eddy's house. A large truck with a mechanical bucket arm was parked in front of it, "Peach Creek Cable Company" written on the door.

"Looks like they're finally putting in those internet lines," Eddy noted.

The Eds quickly bypassed the truck and walked into Eddy's house, Carrie tagging along behind them, gnawing on a tree limb she grabbed along the way. The foursome made their way to Eddy's kitchen, where the Eds began looking in the cabinets.

"Ugh, where did they put the stupid cereal?" Eddy growled, hunting for the box of Chunky Puffs.

"It's not here, Eddy," Ed said, sticking his head out of one of Eddy's silverware drawers.

"I got the milk," Double D said, grabbing a milk carton from the fridge. Carrie watched them curiously, still chewing on her tree branch. Her stomach growled loudly again.

"Aha!" Eddy exclaimed, his body halfway inside one of the bottom cabinets. "Bingo!" He pulled himself out, holding a full box of Chunky Puffs in his hands.

"Cool," Ed, Carrie, and Double D said in awe, staring at the box that seemed to glow like some sort of sacred treasure.

Eddy set the box on the table by the carton of milk as Ed grabbed some spoons and bowls. He set them around the table as Double D sliced up an orange, set it on a small plate, and placed it neatly in front of the cereal box. The table looked like something out of a Saturday morning kid's breakfast commercial. The Eds and Carrie all took a seat around the table and passed the box around. Eddy poured what he wanted first, then passed it to Ed and Double D who followed suit. Then Ed passed Carrie the box, and she hungrily took a huge bite out of the box.

"Um, Carrie," Double D said, taking the box from her. "I think she may need some help…"

"I'll do it!" Eddy shouted, snatching the box from Eddy. He glared at his friend, who was smiling coyly. "Like this, baby!" Eddy tipped the box over, but the bite Carrie put in the top made the cereal pour out too fast and Eddy made a mess. Double D laughed.

"Allow me to pour your milk," Double D snickered, pouring some milk in Carrie's overfilled bowl of Chunky Puffs.

Double D then poured everyone some milk and everyone started eating. The Eds all used spoons to scoop out the sugar-laden, milk-soaked puff balls, but Carrie tossed her spoon out of the way and shoved her face in the bowl, swallowing cereal and milk by the mouthful.

"Carrie!" Double D shouted as she made an even bigger mess than what Eddy made. Double D grabbed a clean spoon and put it in Carrie's hand. "Like this," he said, eating his own cereal.

Carrie watched him curiously, and then looked at her spoon. All three Eds watched her closely; they could almost see the gears in Carrie's head turning. Carrie then took a bite out of her empty spoon, but found it was too hard for her to chew, so she spat it out, shrugged at Double D, and went back to eating her cereal face-first.

"Eh, let her eat how she wants," Eddy said, his mouth full of cereal.

"More please!" Carrie yelled, putting her now-empty bowl of cereal down on the table. The Eds were still working on theirs, but they obliged, refilling Carrie's bowl.

Minutes later, the Eds had finished and Carrie had finished the rest of the cereal- box and its contents- all by herself, as well as the other box of Chunky Puffs Eddy's parents were throwing out due to a rat getting in them.

"Carrie sure likes Chunky Puffs…" Ed said, digging around in one of the boxes for more cereal.

"Okay, now that breakfast is out of the way, let's go introduce Carrie to the neighborhood," Eddy said.

"What about snacks?" Carrie asked, digging around in Eddy's refrigerator. She grabbed a handful of raw eggs and shoved them in her mouth.

"You just ate two boxes of Chunky Puffs and an orange," Double D stated. "You can't possibly still be hungry." Carrie ignored the sock-hatted Ed and shoveled some lunch meat in her mouth.

Sometime later, Carrie finally finished eating. Eddy's refrigerator was completely cleaned out, along with his pantry. There wasn't even a crumb or empty can left; Carrie literally ate _everything_! The Eds were still sitting at the kitchen table, all of them gawking at Carrie, who belched in satisfaction.

"Okay, I'm ready!" Carrie exclaimed.

Outside, the other kids were enjoying the outdoors. Though they were older, the kids still liked to spend time outside, though their activities were slightly different. Sarah and Jimmy, though they had just finished junior high, were having a picnic. Kevin was stripping the rust from his new motorcycle, and trying to figure out what colors to re-paint it. Nazz was lying in a lounge chair on her lawn, reading a magazine. Rolf wasn't visible, but his yells of frustration could be heard from his backyard. And last, but not least, Jonny was playing checkers with his wooden buddy, Plank, who was beginning to show signs of age and had a huge chunk missing out of one of his corners.

"Let's take Carrie over to Kev's place first," Eddy grinned mischievously.

"I know what you're planning, Eddy," Double D said. "I know you plan to make Kevin jealous!"

"Eh, just a little bit jealous…" Eddy grinned. "Wait, where'd Carrie go?"

"She be-bopped over to Rolf's place," Ed answered.

The Eds ran over to Rolf's house and leaned over his wooden fence. Sure enough there was Rolf, holding a pair of scissors and an electric hair trimmer. After junior high, Rolf had decided to pursue a career as a barber, like in the episode "Take This Ed and Shove It." He had grown much bigger, with thicker arms and large shoulders, but had also put on some weight around his belly. Rolf was practicing his skills on Victor, his aged pet goat. Carrie was hiding behind Rolf's shed, eyeballing one of his chickens, her tail standing up straight. She snuck up on the tame bird and grabbed it, shoving it in her mouth.

"Carrie!" Double D yelled at her. "You spit that out!" The Eds all ran at Carrie, Double D grabbing a shovel. Rolf watched as he smacked her in the back of the head with it, and she spat the poor saliva-covered chicken out.

"Chicken!" Ed yelled, chasing the now-traumatized bird across Rolf's yard.

"Uh, may Rolf help you, snake-in-the-grass Ed-boys?" Rolf asked, befuddled by the scene he just witnessed.

"Sorry, Rolfy-boy!" Eddy said. "My _girlfriend_, Carrie, was just testing how fresh your chickens were."

"Ah, Rolf suspects this new girl is this Carrie of which you speak of." Rolf notices Carrie's long hair. "Your hair is longer than the hair growing from my great nano's back."

"Thank you!" Carrie answered, taking it as a compliment for some odd reason.

"C'mon, Carrie, we got a lot more to show you!" Eddy said, grabbing Carrie by the arm and dragged her over to Kevin's house, where Kevin was still sanding away at his motorcycle. "Yo, Kev! We want ya to meet somebody!"

"Not now, Dorky, can't ya see I'm…" Kevin's eyes popped out of his head when he saw Carrie, imitating Eddy's stare from yesterday. "Whoa, who's the babe?"

"This is my _girlfriend_ Carrie," Eddy said. Carrie merely looked up in the air, her mouth agape.

"That's not official yet," Double D corrected his friend.

"We were just showing her around the neighborhood, letting her meet the yokels…"

"Why the heck does she have a tail?"

"Why don't _you_ have a tail?" Carrie asked back.

"It's a, um, medical condition!" Eddy lied. "She comes from, uh, Japan, where she fell in a reactor and grew a tail." Double D face-palmed.

"Oh," Kevin said. "You guys still on for cleaning my dad's garage?"

"Yeah," Eddy said. "But it'll be after my date with Carrie. We're going to that fancy place on Main Street." Kevin's face turned green with envy.

"Yeah, so Carrie," Kevin said smoothly, shoving Eddy out of the way. "Let's say you and I dump the dork and chill at my place."

Eddy growled, then grinned and said, "Is that a dent in your bike's gas tank?"

"What!?" Kevin exclaimed, forgetting about Carrie, who had started making her way over to Kevin's work bench, where his leather jacket was hanging. "Where?" Kevin started looking for that dent, completely oblivious to the fact that Carrie was now eating his jacket. Double D happened to notice, though.

"Not again!" He yelled. He then tried to take what was left of the jacket from Carrie, who held on tight with her hands and teeth.

"My jacket!" Kevin yelled! "Give it back, you tailed freak!" Kevin pulled and tugged, managing to rip his jacket in half. Carrie promptly shredded the rest of it to pieces with her teeth. Ed laughed.

"Uh, I can pay for that," Eddy said, grinning guiltily.

"Don't...worry…about…it," Kevin growled, gritting his teeth. "Just get her out of my sight!" Kevin quickly shoved them off his parents' property and onto the sidewalk where Carrie couldn't do any more damage.

"Hiya, Eds," Jonny greeted them; Kevin had unwittingly shoved them next to Jonny.

Jonny had gained weight, giving him a body that matched his abnormally large head. He had long forgiven the Eds since the fiasco several years ago at Eddy's brother's amusement park, though he became much less social. He still carried around Plank, who had crayon stains all over his face from where Jonny had to redraw it several times over the years. Plank has been riddled with wear and abuse from over the years, and now has a whole corner missing.

"Hey, Jonny-boy!" Eddy greeted him.

"Hello, Jonny," Ed also greeted the bald kid.

"Who's your new friend?" Jonny asked. "She's cute!" Jonny then looked at Plank. "What do you mean she's out of my league? Out of shape? I told you, Plank, it's bone, not fat!"

"Mmm," Carrie said, eyeing the checker pieces. She grabbed a few and ate them. Jonny laughed.

"Far out, huh, Plank?" Carrie then looked at Plank hungrily. She then picked him up and took a bite out of his side. "Nooo! Plank! I'll save ya, buddy!" Jonny smacked Carrie in the face with the checker board, then in the confusion, he grabbed Plank and ran away.

"Bye, Jonny!" Ed waved as Jonny left in a hurry. "That Jonny is such a riot, huh guys?"

"Haven't you had enough to eat?" Eddy asked Carrie, slightly annoyed.

"Nope!" Carrie beamed, smiling brightly at the shortest Ed. Her stomach growled again. "Lunch time!"

"I think Sarah has some food," Ed pointed out. They all four ran over to Ed's place, where Sarah and Jimmy were eating sandwiches on a blanket.

Sarah and Jimmy had become an item, but still enjoyed the same things, like fashion and the like. Sarah was still a loud-mouthed spoiled brat, but tended to be a bit flirty around Double D, to keep Jimmy on his toes. Jimmy showed more interest in art than he did before, but still liked to "model" with Sarah and go shopping with her. He has long since gotten his retainer taken off, but he's a bit more hostile towards the boys when he's with Sarah. Since Sarah often flirts with Double D, he has made the brainy Ed his rival, though Double D is oblivious to this.

"Ed! Me and Jimmy are on a date, so get lost!" Sarah yelled. She then changed her demeanor. "Hey, Double D," Sarah flirted. She then scowled at Carrie, who was smelling the air. "Who's the bimbo?"

"This is Carrie," Double D introduced. "We were just wondering if we could introduce her and stop in for a quick bite, if it's not too much trouble."

"Tell 'em to take a hike, Sarah," Jimmy whispered. Sarah nudged him to the side.

"As long as your friends behave," Sarah replied politely, hiding her gritted teeth. But before the Eds could sit down, Carrie had stolen the basket and eaten all the food and half the basket. Sarah then responded by beating up the Eds in her usual fashion, kicking them onto the pavement. Carrie followed behind, finishing off the picnic basket.

"Ready to concede yet, Eddy?" Double D asked with a smile.

"I'll tell ya when everything stops spinning…" Eddy replied, dizzy from his pummeling.

Nazz had seen the whole event, but wasn't happy about what she had seen. Nazz had changed the least out of the members of the cul-de-sac. She still had feelings for Kevin, though he seemed to be more interested in getting his motorcycle up to par and leaving town. She had become the mediator in the cul-de-sac, able to resolve any disputes between the kids, however she was quick to jump to conclusions, which often led to misunderstandings.

"Did you guys just wreck Sarah and Jimmy's date!? That was, like, _not_ cool!" Nazz then folded up her chair and left in a huff.

Afterwards, Carrie yawned and said, "I'm bored…"

"Let's go back to my place for a while," Eddy said, dusting himself off.

The Eds returned to Eddy's house, this time going in his bedroom. Eddy's room was still decorated retro 70's and 80's style with shag rugs, a tension pole light, a lava lamp, a turntable, and a whole shelf of LP records. His dresser has been cleaned off to make room for his new pet snake, inherited from his brother.

"Cool…" Carrie said in awe, looking around.

"Yup, it's pretty awesome," Eddy flipped a switch and the disco ball hanging from his ceiling began to spin, light reflecting off of it.

"Pretty…" Ed said, staring at the lights.

Double D was examining "Little Edward," the snake. "Eddy, have you been overfeeding Edward again?"

"Who, me? Nah!" Eddy replied, ripping down some pin-up posters of girls in swimsuits so Carrie couldn't see them.

Carrie was more interested in finding something else to eat. She wandered over to Eddy's LP shelf, where she grabbed one of his records and took a bite.

"Mmm," she said, crunching down on one of Eddy's Elvis records. She then grabbed another record and started eating it.

"Hey, Eddy, you got a tape player?" Ed said, looking at Eddy's turntable.

"No, Ed! You know I don't play that garbage. LPs for life!" Suddenly, Eddy felt a strange sensation, as if someone had just punched him in the heart. He looked over to Carrie and saw her biting down on his rare, out-of-print, signed, Tom Jones record. It was his most expensive possession, an item that would easily fetch $3,000 at auction, and Carrie had just bitten into half of it.

"Eddy," Ed said, Eddy's waste basket over his head.

"My Tom Jones record!" Eddy wailed, but it was too late. Carrie had finished eating it and the album sleeve. Eddy the turned his attention to the mess of other broken records she had eaten.

Utterly devastated at the huge chunk Carrie had taken out of his record collection, Eddy shooed her away take inventory of what was left. Carrie quickly turned her attention to "Little Edward", the overly-fed, lethargic green snake residing in the tank on Eddy's dresser. With Double D helping Eddy clean and Ed off being...Ed, Carrie was clear to approach the large, green reptile. Carrie gazed at him and the snake gazed back at her. Then, deciding he might make a good meal, she reached in and grabbed the snake by the tail.

"She ate my Tom Jones record Double D!" Eddy cried, utterly devastated by his loss. "She's a monster! A menace!"

"Come now, Eddy! I'm sure it was all a misunderstanding."

Suddenly, a loud hissing noise filled the room and Carrie let out a loud yelp. Eddy and Double D spun around to see Carrie fighting with Little Edward, the large, fat snake coiled around Carrie's arm and neck and Carrie's teeth sunk in to its tail.

"My snake!" Eddy yelled. He rolled up one of his swimsuit magazines and charged at Carrie. "Leave my snake alone!" He smacked Carrie in the head repeatedly until she finally let go. Eddy pulled Little Edward off Carrie. "Are you okay, little guy?" He asked the frightened animal. The snake responded by hiding its head up Eddy's shirt sleeve.

"Aw, I'm sorry," Carrie apologized. "I was hungry…"

Eddy growled angrily, but then it hit him. He turned to Double D and yelled, "It was you! You knew this would happen!"

"But of course, Eddy!" Double D said, grinning. "I wanted to teach you a lesson about courting women based on their looks rather than their personality."

"Argh!" Eddy roared. "Okay, fine, you got me! You win the bet!"

"I had Mei-Lin send me a printout with some information on Carrie's biology, so I was a bit more prepared than you were," Double D explained, looking Little Edward over for any injuries.

"Is he gonna be okay, Double D?" Eddy sobbed, the snake coiled around his arm in fear.

"He's a little traumatized, but he'll be fine."

"I'm sorry!" Carrie cried. "I didn't know he was alive! I just wanted a snack!"

Eddy wiped his face and put Little Edward back in his tank. "Hey! Stop that! You're getting snot all over my rugs!" Ed then popped up behind the two other Ed-boys, still wearing Eddy's trash can on his head.

"You know what they say," Ed said, "once a snake, always a snake!"

"Ed shut up," Eddy said.

After a long period of silence, Carrie said, "I get it!" Eddy then responded by hitting her over the head with his magazine. Ed laughed and Carrie rubbed her head.

**Next Chapter: "Barb-Ed-cue"- Eddy attempts to throw a big summer bash to score social points, however everything that can go wrong, DOES go wrong. Will Eddy's party be a success, or will it burn up like his overcooked hamburgers?**


	3. Barb-Ed-cue

"**Barb –Ed-Cue"**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long. I have to do a short film for the summer for school next semester. Anywho, enjoy the next episode, erm, I mean, chapter!**

"Carrie, I wouldn't eat that if I were you…" Double D warned the ditzy tailed girl. Carrie just gave him an odd look and bit into her moldy sandwich anyway. "That's absolutely disgusting!"

"Finders, keepers!" Carrie replied, her mouth full.

Ed, Double D, and Carrie were instructed to meet in Ed's basement bedroom for a surprise. His room had only gotten messier over the years, but Ed had made several additions to it. He now had more shelves hanging from the walls with all sorts of toy robots, monster figures, and model space ships. B-movie posters still adorned his room, but his older ones had begun to grow mold on them. A pile of un-built model kits rest beside his door, as well as several unopened packages shipped to him from distant places.

"Where the heck is Ed?" Eddy asked, bored and annoyed.

"He's not in his… bathroom," Double D stated, disgusted by the filth he found in Ed's bathroom.

"He's not in this sandwich," Carrie said, still eating the ancient sandwich she found on Ed's floor.

"Where the heck is his Gamebox? I could at least play some video games while we wait on him…" Eddy started digging around in Ed's stuff, looking for his game console.

Just then, Ed crawled in from his bedroom window, carrying several boxes. He wore a huge grin on his face as he ran up to his three friends.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, guys," Ed said, obviously excited about something.

"Whatever," Eddy replied dryly. "So what is it you wanted?"

"Check this out!" Ed ripped open the biggest box in the stack and pulled out a large gaming console. "I got the brand new Shogun Gaming System!" Eddy and Double D's faces lit up at the sight of it. "And I also got the new power glove controllers and the power sword controllers for Robot Zombie Samurai Four!" Ed ripped open his other boxes, revealing four plastic swords with buttons on the hilts and four pairs of gloves, each with a gaming controller stuck on the top.

"Cool…" Eddy, Double D, and Carrie said in awe.

"Let's plug it in!" Eddy exclaimed.

"Allow me." Double D took the console from Ed and set it up quickly. He then grabbed a plastic cartridge labeled "Robot Zombie Samurai VI" and plugged it into the console. As soon as he did, two pixelated characters popped up on the screen, the game's title hovering over their head.

"Coooool," Ed, Eddy, Double D, and Carrie all said in awe, again.

"Those guys look like they're made out of blocks," Carrie remarked.

"Those are pixels, Carrie," Double D explained. "They're probably not as detailed as game characters in your time period would be…"

The Eds played around with Ed's new gaming system for a little while, battling pixelated zombie ninjas. The three Eds buzzed through the levels while Carrie just hit buttons until she got hungry again and tried to eat the controller.

"What are we gonna do with you, Carrie?" Eddy groaned.

"We could train her to fight the evil undead Mecha Shogun!" Ed declared.

"Um, earth to Ed…" Double D said. "There is no such thing as the Zombie Mecha Shogun."

"Hey, I just got an idea!" Eddy shouted. "What if we took Ed's game over to my house and invited the others to come over and play it? I bet no one else has these awesome controllers yet! Think of how cool it'll make us look! No wait, let's make it a cookout! We'll drag my granddad's old TV out of the garage, throw on some hamburgers, and play video games!"

"Awesome!" Carrie and Ed both yelled at the same time.

"It sounds like a good idea, Eddy, but I do have some concer-"

"Eh, stuff your concerns in your hat, Sock-head!" Eddy turned off the console and Ed's TV. "We got us a cookout to plan! Ed, you and Carrie pack up the gaming stuff, Double D can go call everybody and grab his extension cords, and I'll fire up the grill!"

"But Eddy, do you even know how to grill?"

"Sure I do! My dad taught me everything he knows!"

"Very well, but maybe we should-"

"Stop wasting time and get to work?" Eddy interrupted. "Okay, let's go!" Eddy rushed out the door.

"He's so stubborn," Double D said sourly.

Shortly after, Ed and Carrie had hauled all of Ed's video game stuff to Eddy's back yard. Eddy was digging through his dad's meat locker, looking for stuff to throw on the grill and Double D was using Eddy's phone to call the other kids. Everything was going according to plan for once!

"TV is set up, Eddy!" Ed announced.

"Sweet!" Eddy answered, still digging through the freezer. He had pulled out some steaks, a few racks of beef ribs, and some hot dogs. "What? No hamburgers?" Eddy complained as he hit the bottom. "Oh, well." Eddy grabbed the food and laid it on the table beside his dad's grill. "My dad'll never know they're missing!"

"Well, I've called everyone in the cul-de-sac," Double D informed his friends, finishing his phone calls, "but no one seems interested."

"What!?" Eddy yelled in shock. "So, they wanna play it that way… Ed and Carrie, make some flyers and post them on the kids' doors. I'll get the grill fired up. Double D, you get my brother's speakers out of the garage and plug it in to my radio. Turn the volume up as loud as it'll go. We'll _make_ the kids want to come!"

"But Eddy, the kids all had plausible reasons for not wanting to come to our cookout!" Double D half-shouted. "It's-"

"Double D!" Eddy interrupted yet again. "Crank up the tunes!" Eddy shouted at his sock-hatted friend, who walked away mumbling to himself.

"At least thaw out that meat…" Double D mumbled.

Sometime later, the tasks were all completed; Ed and Carrie had completely covered the front of everyone's houses in flyers advertising Eddy's cookout and Double D was blasting music so loud, it could be heard in the trailer park. Eddy had thawed the steaks and had already started grilling them, coating them in what appeared to be barbeque sauce.

"You guys haven't lived until you tried my homemade barbeque sauce!" Eddy said proudly. "It's a family recipe!"

"Um, guys…" Carrie said, "There's something on me." Carrie pointed to a bunch of ants crawling on her feet.

"Um, Carrie, you seem to have stepped in an ant's nest," Double D informed her. Shortly, the blonde was covered in ants.

"Aaaahhh! Get 'em off!" Carrie screamed, flailing her arms.

"Calm down Carrie!" Double D tried to calm her, but she accidentally smacked him with her tail, sending him flying.

"The Mecha Shogun has sent his minions to sabotage our feast!" Ed exclaimed.

"Ed, do something!" Eddy yelled. "She's slinging ants all over the food!"

Ed grabbed a spatula and began smacking Carrie in the head with it. "Be gone, minions of the evil zombie samurai! Release our comrade!"

"Quit it, Ed!" Eddy flinched as ants flew everywhere and all over him. "AAAHHH! Now they're all over _me_!"

"They are too strong!" Ed exclaimed as ants began attacking his arm. Then all at once, the ants stopped their assault and went back underground.

"What was that all about?" Eddy asked.

Double D looked up at the sky, seeing clouds building. "Like I've been trying to tell you, Eddy-"

"My steaks better not be burnt!" Eddy stormed over to his grill, seeing that his steaks had been badly burned and had shriveled into four black lumps. "Stupid bugs!"

Carrie walked over and ate one. "Mmm, crunchy!"

"Ed, get some games going while I grill what's left," Eddy said. "The kids should be here any minute!"

"Yahoo!" Ed exclaimed as he belly-flopped in front of Eddy's granddad's TV.

"I guess you want me to get drinks?" Double D asked.

"You got it! Hurry, the kids are probably headed this way now!"

Double D ran off as Eddy flipped a few new steaks onto the grill, coating them in barbeque sauce. Carrie then walked up beside him and rested her head in front of a rack of ribs marinating in a container. Carrie then began drooling, soaking the table with her sticky, mucous-y saliva.

"Hey!" Eddy shouted at her. He then smacked her on the head with his spatula.

"Ow!" Carrie howled in pain.

"Don't touch my meat!" Eddy went back to cooking and Carrie circled around the table, rubbing her head in defeat. Her eyes were locked on those ribs and her belly was growling.

The Sepian girl then crouched out of Eddy's line of sight behind a bush. Sticking a few of its branches in her long, messy hair, she got down on her hands and knees and crawled towards the table. Eddy was in a better mood, dancing and singing to some music blaring over the stereo as he was flipping steaks. He didn't notice Carrie's tail moving along the table like a shark's fin towards the table.

"I couldn't find any Styrofoam cups, so I hope your mom doesn't mind us using her glasswa- What in samhill's name is going on!?" Double shouted.

The table was flipped on its side, raw steaks, ribs, and hotdogs littering the ground and Eddy and Carrie playing tug-of-war with a large rack of ribs, Carrie shaking her end in her mouth like a dog.

"Give it!" Eddy yelled. Carrie just growled bit down harder.

"Carrie, you're supposed to wait until they're cooked before you eat it! What if you get food poisoning!" Double D reprimanded.

"Carrie's brain has been taken over by the Zombie Shogun!"

"Ed, shut up and give me a hand!"

"You might as well let her have it, Eddy. She's obviously contaminated those ribs with her saliva."

Growing tired of the game of tug-of-war, Carrie slung her head, slinging the ribs and Eddy with it and Eddy's end broke off, sending him flying into the side of the fence. Just then, the four of them heard a familiar laugh.

"Oh, man, I'm glad I hurried over here," a feminine voice from over the fence remarked; Naomi had been watching the spectacle from a knothole in the fence. "I was going to spoil your party, but I think it's already tanked."

"Grrr, get off my property!" Eddy growled.

"Fine, I was growing bored anyway, dork. Oh, and thanks for pounding the short dork for me. I sprained my arm lifting weights and didn't want to injure it further. Later!" And with that, Naomi disappeared behind the fence.

"I hate that Naomi…" Eddy growled. He then turned his attention to Carrie, who was happily wolfing down those ribs. "And you! You're supposed to wait for the guests!" Carrie stopped eating for a moment to blow a raspberry at Eddy, then crunched down on a rib bone.

"Eddy, I suggest you stop before you get even more injured," Double D said.

Eddy flipped the table back over and picked up all the food. "I'll quit later. I'm having this cookout, and nothing's gonna stop me! Not bugs, not Carrie, and definitely not that witch Naomi!"

"But Eddy-"

"Zip it!"

"These should still be good," Eddy said, putting some hotdogs that had been dropped on the ground. "No one'll ever know!" Double D made a gagging noise and stuck out his tongue.

Finally, after half an hour of grilling and Ed playing video games, Eddy's cookout was all set up and ready to go. Double D had set up drinks for Eddy's no-show party guests, Carrie had retrieved the buns (well, the ones she didn't already eat), and everything was ready to go.

"Looks great!" Eddy said, looking over everything spread out on the table.

"I got some chairs," Ed said, walking into Eddy's backyard with some metal, folding chairs.

"Just set 'em up around the table, big guy!" Eddy then caught Carrie trying to pilfer more food, and smacked her with one of the chairs. "I said don't touch!"

"Eddy," Double D said, his voice slightly worried. "I think we should-"

"Go see if the guests are here?" Eddy interrupted, once again. "Great idea! I bet they're waiting at the front door." Eddy inside his house.

"Ed, did you see anybody when you went to get those chairs?" Double D asked his smelly friend.

"Just me, myself, and I, Mr. Mcfly!"

"I thought so…"

Meanwhile, Eddy had sprayed on some cologne, greased his hair back, and was now heading for his front door. He had the greatest backyard barbeque ever devised with good food and video games, and he had convinced himself that a crowd of guests were waiting on him at his front door.

"Welcome to-" Eddy yelled, opening his door, only to find nothing but the cul-de-sac.

"Wow, the cul-de-sac is awfully quiet today…" Ed remarked slipping up behind Eddy.

"I told you, Eddy, no one was interested!"

"Is it time to eat, yet?" Carrie asked, shoving a handful of hotdogs in her mouth.

"You know what?" Eddy growled, obviously upset. "Forget those chumps!" Eddy slammed his door and stormed his way through his house. "We can have a good time on our own!"

"Bud Eddy, what if the Mecha Shogun got the kids?" Ed asked.

"For crying out loud, Ed…" Double D said.

"Even I am not that air-headed!" Carrie added, her mouth full of food.

"Now that we know there's not going to be any guests," Double D said, "why don't we move our cookout's location to a more sheltered area, say, your garage, Eddy?"

"And ruin the atmosphere? Heck no!" Double D frowned. "Eh, you'll come around once we start playing 'Robot Zombie Samurai Four'!"

"It's the best game ever!" Ed exclaimed. "On level ten, there's this giant mechanical geisha that throws-"

"Spoilers!" Eddy yelled, shoving a sock in Ed's mouth.

The Eds and Carrie finally made it back to Eddy's backyard, and all of them but Double D ate some of Eddy's cooking and played video games. As Eddy, Carrie, and Ed played "Robot Zombie Samurai", the sky started to get dark, and low rumbles of thunder began overpowering the music Eddy was playing.

"Eddy…" Double D said, pointing grimly at the black cloud.

"Eh, it'll go around us," Eddy replied dryly.

"Still, it might be a good idea to gather up all this electronic equipment and go indoors."

"Eh, put a sock in it! We're just getting to level fifteen!" Just as Eddy finished talking a bolt of lightning struck one of the trees in his yard, turning it into a smoldering pile of ash.

"The Mecha Shogun is attacking!" Ed screamed.

"Ignore it and it'll go away," Eddy said, still playing. A large raindrop hit him on the head. "Carrie, quit droolin' on my head! I know I'm a hunk, but jeez, control yourself!"

"But I'm over here," Carrie replied, taking a huge bite out of Ed's gaming glove.

Before Double D could make a valid counter-argument, the sky opened up and one of the worst rainstorms the Eds had ever seen beat down on the Eds' barbeque party. The rain shorted out the cables to Ed's gaming console and Eddy's granddad's TV, as well as drowned the grill, soaked all the food, and ruined Eddy's radio and speakers.

"Nooooo!" Eddy wailed.

"Yaaay!" Carrie squealed as she splashed around in a large puddle.

"Quickly, now!" Double D said, unplugging all the gaming stuff and running it into Eddy's room. Eddy grabbed Carrie, who looked like someone tried to drown her in a lake, and dragged her inside. As soon as everyone was inside, a huge rumble of thunder sounded and the power went out.

"Stupid rain," Eddy growled. "It was the greatest cookout in the world!" Eddy turned on a flashlight.

"I tried to warn you, Eddy," Double D said. "Ed, I'm afraid your console is ruined."

"Nooooo!" Ed wailed in anguish. "The Mecha Shogun has claimed another victim to feed his unholy army!"

"All's not lost," Double D said, "I do believe I have some spare parts at my house. I'll replace the damaged parts and have it returned to you as soon as it's fixed. I don't know about your game, though."

"It's okay, Double D," Ed replied, "I bought five copies! See?" Ed pulled out three copies of "Robot Zombie Samurai IV" out of his coat pocket, all of them covered in filth. "Sarah keeps breaking my games, so I buy extras!"

"That's great and all, but what about my cookout?" Eddy asked, obviously still aggravated.

"Why don't we reschedule it, on a day it _isn't_ supposed to rain?"

Eddy glared at Double D. "Fine, but don't expect me to cook. We're out of meat to grill…"

"You're welcome!" Carrie said, eating a steak she had saved from the rain. Another lightning bolt struck, thunder following it, and Eddy's flashlight went dead.

"Son of a…"


	4. Time Eds

"**Time Eds"**

"Eddy!" Double D yelled as he tromped through the woods by the creek. The short Ed-boy had called him after lunch, and wanted him to come down by the creek immediately.

Double D fought his way through the forest, hearing Eddy's cackling growing louder and louder. Finally, he arrived at a clearing, where he found Eddy standing in front of a large rock with some sort of thick, fuzzy, yellow moss growing on it.

"You gotta see this, Double D!" Eddy laughed.

"What is it?" The brainy Ed-boy inquired. Eddy answered by taking a stick and lifting up part of the yellow moss, revealing Carrie's face underneath. The blonde, Sepian girl had apparently decided to take a nap on this warm rock.

"What have you been doing to her, Eddy?"

"Nothing… yet! Watch this!" Eddy ran to the creek and returned with a bucket of water. He poured it all over Carrie's head, but she didn't even move. Eddy then grabbed a handful of pinecones and threw them at Carrie, but again, she didn't even twitch. Eddy then paraded around her, banging on drums and symbols and blowing a trumpet, but Carrie still didn't move.

Double D gave Eddy an unimpressed look.

"Don't you see, Double D? We're germ-free! And we got a pigeon we can pull pranks on! She'll never know it was us!" Eddy laughed manically as he pulled out a marker and a can of shaving cream.

"Eddy, I thought we were behind pulling childish pranks…"

"Nah, you're never too old for a good prank! Now do me a favor and go get me some eggs, some maple syrup, and some plastic wrap."

"Um, Eddy, I'm afraid to ask, but what on Earth do you need with-" Double D stopped mid-sentence when Ed ran into the clearing from out of nowhere, a stern, dramatic look on his face.

"It's about time you showed up!" Eddy barked. "Where's that sewer water you were supposed to bring to pour on Carrie?"

Ed just ignored his friend, staring into the sky with his unibrow slightly raised. Instead of his trademark jacket, he was now wearing a green overcoat. He sported the polka-dot tie and hairdo he had in "Will Work for Ed", his hair combed over. He held a large flashlight in his hand.

"Shush!" Ed exclaimed. He pointed his flashlight at the sleeping Carrie and turned it on.

"What's with the flashlight, Ed? It's two o'clock!" Eddy yelled.

"Shush!"

Double D and Eddy watched Ed as he walked around dramatically, pointing his flashlight and making buzzing noises. Ed then shone it at the rock Carrie was sleeping on. He then pulled out a stethoscope and placed it on the rock as if he was listening for something.

"Just as I suspected! There's a disturbance in the space-time continuum…"

"What?" Eddy asked.

"Shhh!" Ed put his stethoscope away and pulled out a tongue depressor.

"Ed, what's going on?" Double D asked.

"I am not Ed," Ed replied. "I am…The Time Surgeon!" Ed raised up and lifted his finger high in the air and raised his eyebrow.

"The Time Surgeon?" Double D asked again.

"You mean that British guy that travels through time in a porta potty?"

"Yup, that's me!" Ed said with a grin as he wiped off his glasses. "And I have reason to believe that this rock is the cause of an inter-cosmic disturbance!" Eddy and Double D stared at their friend.

Eddy then turned his attention to Double D. "Go get that stuff I wanted!"

"Um, yeah…" Double D turned to walk away, but Ed grabbed him.

"Don't leave, Double D!" Ed yelled. "I'm going to need your help with this surgical procedure!"

"Surgical procedure!" Double D beamed. "Why Ed, I didn't know you had an interest in-"

"Shush! We must repair this ulcer in the fabric of time before Cyber-Rolf and his cyber-chickens find it and use it to destroy the universe!"

"Rolf?" Eddy asked. "What the heck does Rolf have to do with this?"

Meanwhile, back in the cul-de-sac, Rolf has amassed his chickens, all of them adorned with makeshift armor. Rolf was wearing his traditional dress and wielding a pitchfork.

"Farm fowl!" Rolf screamed angrily. "For too long, the tailed Carrie-girl has terrorized Rolf's fowl! Just this morning, we lost Gertrude to yet another marauding where this was found at the scene!" Rolf held up a really long strand of blonde hair. "Now Rolf calls upon you, his faithful fowl, and the great Yeshmyek, to help him restore Rolf's honor! Many of you will not return, and some of you may be eaten! However, we must grab the eggplants by the roots, baste the venison, and squeeze the tick of pestilence! Now let us go and claim our vengeance!" Rolf's chickens all clucked as Rolf led them out of his fence and towards the woods.

Back in the woods, Ed was putting away his medical tools, his friends Ed and Double D looking at him with disbelief.

"We must now examine the inter-dimensional being!" Ed pulled out a gas mask and a can of tomato soup. "Double D, help me flip her over on her back!" Eddy chuckled as Double D gave Eddy an odd look.

Double D and Ed flipped Carrie over, but with great difficulty; she was surprisingly heavy for her size. Again, Carrie didn't even move and was still sound asleep when they were done. Her face was soaked in what looked like a mixture of saliva and mucous. Ed held the soup can over her head for a second, then placed it on her forehead, his ear pressed against the other end.

"You're supposed to open the can and pour the soup on her face!" Eddy said in disgust.

"Shush!" Ed exclaimed again. "Double D, examine the oral excretions!" Double D gave Ed another odd look. He then looked down at Carrie's mouth in disgust.

"So unsanitary…" Double D put on a pair of rubber gloves and looked at Carrie's saliva with his magnifying glass. "Hmm, this looks interesting!" Double D grabbed a pair of tweezers and used them to pull a drool-soaked chicken feather stuck to the side of Carrie's face.

"Let me see that," Ed said, taking the feather from Double D. He pulled out his flashlight, shone it at the feather, and made a buzzing noise with his lips. "Great Scott! This feather comes from a cyber-chicken!"

"Could someone tell me what the heck is going on!?" Eddy shouted.

Ed then covered Eddy's mouth and whispered, "Shush" again. "Don't you hear them?" The Eds paused for a second; they could hear something! Faint clucking noises echoing through the woods, followed by the sound of someone grunting.

"Oh, dear!" Double D exclaimed. "Carrie's been eating Rolf's chickens again! We have to get her out of here!"

Eddy bit Ed's hand, causing him to yelp and pull away. "In your dreams! I say we hide and see what Stretch does to her! It'll be hilarious!"

"But Eddy, she's incapacitated!"

"So?"

"We must move the ulcer stone and the girl before Cyber Rolf and his evil horde find them!" Ed exclaimed, pointing his finger in the air, and looking dramatic again.

"We can hide out at my house for a while," Double D suggested. "Rolf usually gives up if he can't find us before sunset."

"No time!" Ed replied. "We must take her to my ship. I hid it in the junkyard."

"Ed, my house is closer than the junkyard, so wouldn't it make sense to hide _there_?"

Ed stared at Double D. "Nope!" Suddenly, the bushes around them began rustling as the clucking grew louder. "They've found us!"

"The Ed-boys are sheltering the chicken-eater!" Rolf screeched. "Get them!" The bushes exploded with armor-clad chickens, all clucking angrily.

"My supersonic flashlight will stop them!" Ed whipped out his flashlight and shone it at the chickens, making that buzzing noise again, but the chickens just became angrier. "Oh no, they've upgraded themselves to become immune!"

"Ed-boys!" Rolf yelled.

"Run!" Ed yelled, giving another overly-dramatic pose. He picked Eddy and Double D up and threw them into the woods, and then picked up the rock, Carrie still sleeping peacefully on it, and ran after them, Rolf and his "cyber" chickens running after him.

Eddy and Double D quickly regained consciousness after being knocked out briefly when they hit the ground. They then felt a sharp pain all over their bodies.

"Ouch!" Eddy yelped, realizing he was covered in thorns. Double D painfully pulled a vine of thorns off of his side.

"Don't just sit there waiting for tea time!" Ed yelled as he ran past them. "Run!" Eddy and Double D ran after him, Rolf and his chicken army catching up to them.

"Rolf's gone mad," Eddy said, now scared for his life.

"You know how Rolf gets when someone messes with his livestock, Eddy," Double D said, jumping over a fallen tree. "Remember our fiasco with that movie we were going to send your brother?"

"I don't think we're going to make it to the ship," Ed said in a phony British accent.

"Good, I didn't want to hide in a porta-potty anyway," Eddy answered.

"I told you, Ed! We need to hide at my house!"

"We must hide at Double D's house!" Ed yelled.

"Wait Ed! Don't bring that boulder in my house! I just cleaned!"

"We have to!" Ed yelled as he stopped in front of Double D's back door. He then stuffed Carrie and the rock through, cracking the doorframe with the large rock.

"My house!" Double D cried. "My doorframe!" Ed threw Eddy and Double D inside and slammed the door, locking it with a huge padlock.

"That should hold them for a few minutes anyway," Ed said, keeping his obviously fake accent.

"Ed, there's a boulder on my kitchen floor!" Double D wailed.

Just then, Carrie yawned, causing everyone to stare at her. She then rolled back over on her stomach and began snoring softly. The Eds just stared at her for a few minutes.

"Man, she's a heavy sleeper," Eddy mumbled. Suddenly, something was banging on the house.

Ed peeped through the blinds and saw Rolf banging on the door. "Cyber Rolf is outside," he whispered.

"Open this door, Double D Ed-boy! You cannot hide from Rolf!" Rolf pounded on the door with his fists.

"Just throw Carrie out the door and get it over with!" Eddy yelled.

"Shush!" Ed said. "Here, take a jelly bean." Ed gave Eddy a gummy bear. Eddy stared at it.

"Um Ed, this is a gummy bear."

"Yes," Ed replied.

"I think Lumpy's lost it…" Eddy whispered in Double D's ear. Ed then grabbed them and took them all into the living room.

Outside, Rolf was still standing at the door impatiently, his chickens roaming around Double D's back yard. He looked around, checked his watch , and peeped in a window; no one.

"Rolf could have sword he heard the sneaky Ed-boys go in the Hat-in-Sock Ed-boy's house. Come, Rolf's fowl! We check the greedy Ed-boy's house, yes!" Rolf and his chickens moved off Double D's lawn to check Eddy's house.

"We'll stay here until it's safe to get to the ship," Ed said, watching Rolf leave out the living room window.

"I'm turning on the air conditioner," Eddy groaned. "I'm frying like an egg…"

"I think that's Carrie's boulder," Double D said, touching the side of the boulder, but it burned his hand. "Ouch!"

"That is the space-time energy flowing through the stone," Ed explained. "That's why Cyber-Rolf and his cyber-chickens want it."

"Please, Ed." Double D rolled his eyes as he stuck his hand in a vase of water. "It's just hot from sitting in the sun all afternoon."

"Hey, Sock-head!" Eddy screamed, sweat pouring from his face. "Where's your air conditioner?"

"Turn the knob on the wall, Eddy!"

Eddy was already upstairs, sweating heavily. He walked up to a metal box with a knob on it and turned the knob. Cold, but refreshing air then began circulating throughout the house, quickly cooling it.

"Ah, much better!" Eddy said with satisfaction.

"Ed, could you move Carrie in front of that vent?" Double D asked. "I'm sure she's burning up as well from laying in the sun and on that hot rock all morning."

"Excellent suggestion," Ed replied, bringing his phony British accent back. He promptly pushed Carrie up against the vent and ice cold air began blowing on her.

"My floor!" Double D wailed again when he saw the damage scooting the rock did to his floor.

"Hey, Eds, heads up!" Eddy threw a couple of sodas at his friends. "Let's chill for a minute."

Double D sighed and mumbled, "Not like I can get these scratches out in time, anyway…"

The Eds all cracked open their sodas, chugged them down, and plopped down on Double D's couch. Meanwhile, Carrie's rock had lost its heat, and Carrie was beginning to shiver. Still asleep, she rose up, a string of drool hanging from the side of her lip. Too relaxed to notice her, Carrie stood to her feet and walked behind the couch, her eyes still closed. Carrie shuffled to the front door, her tail knocking off a picture frame, breaking it with a loud crash, snapping the Eds out of their relaxed state.

"What was that?" Double D asked, his voice filled with concern. Ed looked over at the boulder sitting in the corner of Double D's living room, noticing that Carrie wasn't laying on it anymore.

"The trans-dimensional being is missing!" Ed cried.

"So?" Eddy asked, still drinking his soda and relaxing. Just then, the Eds heard Double D's front door swing open. They all turned to see Carrie stumble out the door, her eyes still closed.

"Oh no, She'll be captured by Cyber-Rolf!" Ed yelled.

"After her!" Ed commanded. "If Cyber-Rolf captures her, her people, the Lizardons, will get mad and destroy the world!" Ed pulled out his "supersonic" flashlight and ran out the door, his finger in the air again.

Hurry, Eddy!" Double D ran after Ed.

"Do we have to?" Eddy groaned as he trudged slowly behind them.

"Look!" Ed pointed at Carrie, who was lying on her stomach in the middle of the lane.

"Good thing the cul-de-sac gets relatively few motorists," Double D remarked.

"Just get her before Rolf sees us," Eddy whispered, as he looked and saw Rolf and his animals ransacking Ed's house.

"There they are!" Rolf screamed as he saw the Eds and Carrie. "Now we shall have our revenge!" Rolf and his mass of farm animals, all clad in armor, stormed towards Carrie.

"It's Cyber-Rolf, and he's brought reinforcements!"

"I'm too handsome!" Eddy cried as the stampede of armored farm animals headed his way.

The Eds ran onto the pavement to fetch Carrie and make their retreat, but they found that the pavement had been super-heated by the summer sun, and was blazing hot, even with their shoes on. They hopped across it to Carrie, anyway, and Ed picked her up as if she were a sack of potatoes.

"Eddy! You take the trans-dimensional being to safety!" Ed threw Carrie on Eddy, crushing him under her breast flesh and hair. "I will handle these cybers!" Ed pulled out a surgeon's mask and hat, put them on, and waved his flashlight at the stampede.

Eddy and Double D dragged Carrie back inside Double D's house, leaving Ed to fight off Rolf's farm animals. They stomped on the large Ed-boy, his flashlight proving ineffective.

"Surrender the chicken-eating Carrie-girl, foolish Ed-boy!" Rolf commanded, waving his pitchfork over his head.

"Never…" Ed grunted, obviously in pain. "For I am… the Time Surgeon!"

"Time surgeon?" Rolf said, bewildered as Ed fought off the animals, using his flashlight as a club. "Stop!" Rolf yelled, and his animals ceased fighting. Rolf walked up to Ed, who was battered and bruised. Ed and Double D were watching from the window as Rolf stared at Ed.

"Time surgeon, eh? Tell me, Ed-boy, since when were you inducted into the great organization of the time-traveling physicians?"

"Uh, since lunch?"

"Hmm…" Rolf stroked his goatee. "Do you have your time-traveling medical badge?"

"Sure do!" Ed pulled out his learner's permit and showed it to Rolf, removing his glasses.

Rolf looked at his permit, and then at Ed. "Rolf respects the organization, oh great time-traveling physician, but Rolf cannot simply let the chicken-eater free. Perhaps we can work out a deal, yes?"

Ed turned to the window where his friends were watching and mumbled, "This is just like episode 237 of Time Surgeon where the Surgeon has to make a choice between stabilizing the time stream and preventing an intergalactic war with the Lizardons." Ed then turned to Rolf, straightened his bowtie, and said, "How about we give you the space-time ulcer stone in exchange for the life of the Lizardon princess?"

"Rolf has no clue what you said, but Rolf is intrigued by this stone… The Ed-boy has a deal, if this stone glows with the radiance of fifty milk buckets!"

"Suuurrreee…" Ed lied, grinning. "Psst, guys." Ed whispered, turning to the window where his friends were.

"What does he want?" Double D asked.

"I tricked Cyber Rolf into trading us the stone for Carrie, but I've repaired the space-time ulcer, rendering it useless to him."

"But you didn't do anything to the stone, oh great 'Time Surgeon'," Eddy muttered.

"Shush! We must make our retreat before he finds out the unstable time ulcer has healed." Ed turned back to Rolf. "So do we have a deal, Cyber King Rolf?"

"Of course, Ed-boy! Rolf will enjoy rubbing the glowing stone of space-time in his relative's faces!" The Eds picked Carrie up and slipped past Rolf and his animals as Rolf walked into Double D's house to look at his new rock. But as soon as the Eds were across the lane, Rolf realized he had been tricked.

"The time physician has made a merry-andrew of Rolf!" He screamed, causing all his animals to go into an uproar. He then smashed down Double D's wall with the boulder. "Get those Ed-boys and the chicken-eater!" Rolf yelled as his animals ran off after the Eds.

"We can escape him in the ship!" Ed yelled, Carrie slung over his shoulder and drooling all over the back of his coat. "Follow me, my assistants!"

"Assistants!?" Eddy protested.

"Let's just play his game until we can get away from Rolf," Double D said.

"When this is over, remind me to hit Carrie over the head with a shovel…" Eddy grumbled.

Rolf and his farm animals chased the Eds all the way to the junkyard, tearing a path of destruction with his new weapon, which was simply his pitchfork with Carrie's boulder tied to the end of it with a rope. The Eds ran towards their van, the sound of Rolf's farm animals growing louder and louder.

"Ed, Mei-Lin's ship doesn't work!" Double D yelled.

"It's still better than a porta-potty…" Eddy added.

"We're not going there!" Ed answered. "There is the ship!" He pointed at the Eds' van, which was now covered with a tarp and sitting up on cinder blocks.

"The van doesn't have any tires, Bur-head!" Eddy yelled. "How are we gonn use that to get away from Rolf?"

"Tires? Forget tires! We don't need no stinkin' tires!" Ed said with a grin.

Eddy unlocked the van's doors and Ed shoved Carrie inside, he and his friends following close behind. Double D then shut the door and locked it, just as Rolf and his animals came into view. Ed then set Carrie gently on the waterbed and sat in the new backseat the Eds had installed. Eddy sat down in the driver's seat and Double D in the passenger's seat.

"Ed, the van isn't going to hold Rolf back for long," Double D warned.

"If Rolf puts a scratch on our van, so help me I'll-"

"Shush!" Ed reiterated, shoving Eddy's head in the backseat cushions. He crawled over the driver's seat and sat in it. He could see Rolf and his animals draw closer and closer through the windshield. "Assistant Double D, hand me the keys."

Double D looked down at the van keys and handed them to Ed. Ed then put them in the ignition and started the van up as Rolf finally reached the van. Ed reached out the window and pulled off the van's tarp, revealing a full rack of flood lights installed on the top of the van. Ed flipped a lever on the dashboard and all the lights turned on, blinding Rolf and his animals.

"Aiyee!" Rolf yelped. "Rolf has gone blind!"

Ed flipped a switch on the dashboard, labeled "loudspeaker." "Foolish Cyber!" Ed announced over the loudspeaker. "You have invoked the wrath of the Time Surgeon, and now you will pay for your hubris!"

Rolf squinted at the van, trying to make out where this booming voice was coming from beyond the blinding lights. Suddenly, he heard a blaring horn that blew half of his chickens away and blew the armor off of his animals. Rolf, knocked to the ground by the noise, struggled to his feet, using Victor, the goat, as a prop.

"Rolf is no match for the time-traveling physician Ed-boy…" Rolf mumbled.

"Leave before I invoke my full wrath!" Ed roared over the loudspeaker again. Startled, Rolf and his animals fled.

"Ed," Eddy said in awe. "You found a brain…"

"Good thing I installed that loudspeaker system this morning," Double D mentioned.

"Finally, the universe has been stitched up and war no longer threatens our planet!" Ed once again raised his unibrow and made a dramatic pose.

Suddenly, the door to Mei-Lin's ship flew open and Mei-Lin stormed out. "What the hell is all that noise!?" She yelled, her pistol pointed at the van.

"That was us," Double D answered, rolling down the van's windows. He then shrieked in horror from the gun Mei-Lin was holding. Upon seeing who it was, she shoved it back in its holster quickly.

"Sorry, I've been having problems with someone stealing junk from the junkyard," Mei-Lin said.

"Since when do you care?" Eddy asked, pulling his head out from between the seat cushions.

"Since the city hired me as the new junkyard manager," she replied, showing Eddy a signed contract. "Apparently they've needed one for the past thirty years, but no one wanted it."

"Well, this van is ours!" Eddy protested.

"Fine, just don't let the county catch you or I'll get fired for giving away junk."

The Eds then heard the water bed in the back sloshing as Carrie woke from her nap.

"There you are, Carrie," Mei-Lin said. "I wondered where you wandered off to…"

Carrie yawned, opening her mouth wide. She smiled and said, "Hi, guys! Did I miss anything?"

Everyone stared at Carrie, Ed adjusting his glasses. Eddy then pulled a shovel out from under the seat and bashed her over the head, knocking her out.


	5. Ed My Ride

**Ed My Ride**

**Finally, after a week with no internet, I'm able to upload this! Enjoy!**

The Eds were in Kevin's garage, cleaning it for him while he was away at work. As payment, they were paid up front and allowed to borrow a few of his tools to work on the van in the junkyard.

"Well, that takes care of that!" Eddy said with a grin, holding a rag covered in black oil.

"I've got Kevin's spare parts sorted and put away, Eddy!" Double D declared.

"And I'm Ed!"

Suddenly, there were three knocks from inside a large metal cabinet in the back of Kevin's garage. Eddy ran over to it, a nervous look on him.

"What did you break? You better not have broke anything, Carrie!"

"I've been good," Carrie answered from inside the cabinet. "Can I come out now? I'm getting hungry…"

"Just stay in there a few minutes longer…" Eddy answered, patting the cabinet. He pulled out a key and locked the door. To make double sure the Sepian wouldn't escape, he put a padlock on the door's handles. "That should hold ya, you destructive little-"

"Eddy, could you give me a hand over here?" Double D yelled, struggling to lift a box.

"Alright, here comes Mr. Muscle!"

Eddy strolled over to help Double D, his chest puffed out and his arms flexed. He grabbed the box, heaved it up over his head, and fell over backwards, the box crushing him.

"I gotcha, Eddy!" Ed grabbed the box and stacked it against the wall with some other boxes. "All done!"

Eddy staggered to his feet and looked around; Kevin's garage had never looked cleaner.

"Good work, boys! Now let's go see that-"

Before Eddy could finish, the metal cabinet doors holding Carrie flew off their hinges, ricocheted around the garage, and in the process smashed everything, undoing all the work the Eds had done. Carrie then fell out of the cabinet, its contents falling on top of her.

"All that hard work…" Double D moaned. Ed just laughed.

"Carrie!" Eddy screamed. He reached into the pile, grabbed Carrie's shirt, and pulled her out. "What are we gonna do with you?"

"Sorry," Carrie answered. "I was getting bored…"

"Maybe Kevin won't notice," Ed said.

"Um, Earth to Ed…" Double D mumbled.

"Yeah, Ed's right," Eddy threw Carrie back in the pile of Kevin's stuff. "Besides, it doesn't look too bad. Kevin will never know!" As soon as Eddy said that, one of Kevin's work benches fell apart and a kayak hanging from the ceiling fell and broke in two. Eddy picked up a bag of tools. "I think we better go…"

The Eds and Carrie all ran as fast as they could away from Kevin's garage, which was now in even worse condition than when they started. They ran all the way into town, Eddy clutching the two twenty dollar bills in his hand. He suddenly stopped, standing in front of a building labeled "Randall's Auto Shop." Ed, Double D, and Carrie stopped and stood behind him, gazing up at the building.

"Cool," Ed said in awe.

"Did you bring that list of parts we need, Double D?"

"Certainly, Eddy." Double D pulled a piece of paper out from under his hat and looked at it. "Let's see, all we need are a couple of spark plugs, some tire rims, and some tires."

Eddy pulled out his wallet and grabbed a fistful of twenties. "Let's see, sixty, eighty, a hundred, hundred and fifty, two hundred…. We have three-hundred and thirty-two dollars and nineteen cents."

"Oh my," Double D said, a bit of concern in his voice. "We'll be cutting it close on buying those rims and spark plugs, but I'm afraid those tires will have to wait a while."

"Damn," Eddy growled. "Let's just get those rims."

The Eds walked towards the door, leaving Carrie still gawking at the building, trying to figure out what the big deal was. She then noticed she was being left behind and started to follow, when Eddy turned to Carrie and attempted to point is finger at her, but missed and touched her breast instead. Eddy paused, and the two stared awkwardly at each other, then Eddy put his hand to his side.

"Stay!" The shortest Ed-boy commanded.

"Aww, but I wanna go in, too!" Carrie whined.

"Not after the garage incident!"

"But you promised I could help clean, but then you made me wait in that box!" Carrie protested. "You owe me!"

"She's got a point, Eddy," Ed added.

"No one asked you, lummox!" Eddy snapped. Double D and Ed gave him a look of disbelief.

"It's only fair, Eddy," Double D said. "I'm sure she won't be any trouble."

Eddy turned to Carrie, who was smiling and wagging her long, slender tail victoriously.

"Fine," Eddy groaned. "You can come in with us."

"Yay!" Carrie yelled, running in ahead of the Eds. The Eds followed suit, walking in the door.

The four of them stopped and looked around. The shelves were lined with plastic bins filled with parts. Car rims were hung all over the walls along with old bumpers and license plates. The whole store smelled like oil and grease, which made sense considering everything was blackened with oil, including the tile floor. Standing behind the counter was a large man wearing overalls.

"Follow my lead, boys," Eddy whispered. Carrie gave him an odd look. "You too…" Carrie smiled. Eddy threw the bag of tools across his back and strolled up to the counter.

"Afternoon," the man said. "Can I help ya find anehtheng?

"Yeah, we're refinishing a vintage Antonucci van and need a few parts," Eddy bragged.

"Ey, Randall!" The man yelled. "I need yer halp!"

"Hang on!" Another voice from a back room yelled.

A tall, but slender man wearing a blue jumpsuit, green baseball cap, and brown boots walked in the room. He had a lollipop stick hanging out his mouth and his face had a five o'clock shadow with a beard and side burns. His jumpsuit had a patch sewn on reading "RANDALL" in all capital letters. He pulled the sucker from his mouth to speak.

"Hello, fellas…" Randall looked at Carrie and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. "And lady!" He winked at Carrie, who just looked at him curiously. "Whatdya need?"

"Yeah, we're rebuilding an old Antonucci Roadster van and-"

"What!?" Randall yelled. "I haven't seen one of those in years! Please tell me you kept the signature tear drop side-rear windows!"

"Yeah…"

"Oh, you gotta show me when you're finished!" Randall beamed. "How's it look?"

Eddy rested his elbow on the counter. "Well, we've re-finished the paint job. We kept the original purple color, but we've added some hot rod flames down the sides, refinished the wood interior, and gave it a V6 Cooplowski engine."

"Aw, sweet!" Randall exclaimed.

The two of them talked for a few minutes, Ed and Double D proudly adding in a few details every once in a while. Carrie on the other hand, had no clue what they were talking about, nor was she remotely interested. She shuffled her feet a bit, and turned her attention to all the rusty license plates hanging from the walls.

"Yeah, we're just about done," Eddy added. "We just need some new rims, a few spark plugs, and a set of tires and it'll be done."

"Nice! Hey, how about I cut you a deal? I got a nice set of brand new Goodebarr tires with custom chrome rims included in yesterday. Now, normally I would have to charge the full retail value, but for you guys, I can charge $325. I'll even throw in some spark plugs for no charge!"

Eddy's eyes flashed dollar signs. "Sweet!"

"But, in exchange, you have to bring the van by when you're done so I can see it." Randall chomped down on his sucker, finishing the piece of candy. He pulled another one out of his pocket, unwrapped it, and popped it in his mouth. "Oh, and I also need one little favor." Randall bent down and put his hand to his mouth and Eddy's ear. "You gotta get me a date with that hot blonde chick behind you."

Eddy turned around and looked at Carrie, who was digging through some boxes. Noticing the attention, she turned around, her large breasts accidentally knocking off one of the boxes, spilling some metal parts everywhere.

"Her?" Eddy asked, confused. "Sure, she's hot, but she eats garbage, has a tail, and can't remember anything past lunch time…"

"She can't be any worse than that chick I dated who claimed she was from Neptune. And my cousin Ned eats garbage all the time, so I'm used to that."

"Alright, fine! But no take-backs if she ruins your date."

"As long as she eats cheap and we both get to eat, I'll be fine."

"I don't think this is such a good idea, Eddy," Double D whispered. He heard Carrie knock over another box of parts.

"Relax, watch this." Eddy turned to Carrie, who was now shoving boxes off on purpose, laughing each time they hit the ground and parts spilled out. "Hey, Carrie!"

"Huh?"

"This guy says he's gonna take you to get something to eat tonight!" Carrie's eyes turned into burgers and she grinned, her mouth watering.

"Okay, looks like we got ourselves a deal!" Randall shook Eddy's hand and Eddy paid him the money. "I'll go get those tires, and I'm sure there are some working spark plugs in one of the totes along the back wall. Oh, and Jamie, clean up that mess."

"Okay, Ed and Carrie, you two grab the tires and Double D can hunt for those spark plugs."

Double D walked to the back of the store and began digging through one of the totes, quickly finding what he needed.

"Eureka!" Double D held the plugs over his head in triumph.

"We got the tires!" Ed said, he and Carrie each holding two of them in their arms.

"Good luck on that van!" Randall yelled. "Oh, and I'll see _you_ tonight…" He winked at Carrie.

"What a steal!" Eddy exclaimed as he and his friends left the store and started walking towards the junkyard. "I can't believe he threw in those tires for nothing! And they're brand new!"

"I will admit, it was generous of him and we got an outstanding deal on those tires, but I am a bit concerned with his arrangement with Carrie. Doesn't he seem a little, uh, old to date her?"

"C'mon, Double D, look at her! She's at least eighteen or twenty. And it's not a date. He's just taking her out to dinner."

"Do you think I'll get to go, too?" Ed asked.

"I doubt it, Ed…" Ed frowned.

"Carrie," Double D said, "I don't mean to pry, but just exactly how old are you again?"

"I forgot…" Carrie answered.

"So, is there anything else we need for the van?"

"Well, nothing important. We need to repair the spoiler on the top of the van."

"Oh, I remember that," Eddy growled. "Ed dropped a cinder block on it that day we dug an axle from that junk pile!"

"I told you, it wasn't me!" Ed rebutted. "It was Dr. Why and his evil spies!"

"I bet it was," Eddy grumbled.

"Anyway, let's just get to the junkyard before-"

"Hey dorks!" Kevin's voice echoed across the cul-de-sac, sounding angry.

"Kevin finds us…" Double D finished.

Kevin rode up on his motorcycle. A vein was sticking up across his forehead, his fists were gripping the handlebars on his bike, and even though he was wearing a helmet and sunglasses, the Eds could feel his glare through them. He kicked his kickstand down, jumped off his bike, took off his helmet, and rolled up the sleeves on his leather jacket.

"You dorks wrecked my garage!"

"Now hold on a minute, we finished cleaning your garage! Carrie was the one who wrecked it!" Carrie smiled and waved at Kevin.

Kevin scowled at Carrie, who just smiled and waved at him. "I told you to keep her away from my garage!"

"In all fairness, Eddy, she probably wouldn't have caused that damage if you didn't lock her in that storage cabinet," Double D added.

"You're lucky my dad has insurance," Kevin growled. "And you're lucky I respect ya for trying to fix that hunk of junk you call a van."

"Hey, that van is gold! And it'll outshine that hunk of junk you call a motorcycle when we're finished!" Eddy snapped.

"You really think your beat up Antonucci roadster is better than my Gary Conrad Bedpan-head?" Kevin patted his beat-up motorcycle and one of the handlebars fell off. Eddy laughed. "Eh, that won't be a problem for long. Guess who just got a raise?" Kevin flashed a check for $1200. "And, I got a one-week vacation! I'll have my bike looking good by the middle of next week."

"You think you can clean that piece of scrap up in half a week and make it look better than our van, which we've been working on since freshman year?"

"Hmm, how about a little wager?" Kevin said with a grin. "The Peach Creek fair is next weekend, and there's a car and bike show. How about we both enter our rides, and whoever places the highest has the best ride in the cul-de-sac?"

"Sounds good," Eddy grinned.

"And while we're at it, let's up the ante," Kevin grinned even wider than Eddy. "The loser has to pay up what they put in to fix their ride."

Eddy's eyes turned to dollar signs. "Deal!" He and Kevin shook hands.

"Choice!" Kevin said smugly. He put his helmet on and jumped on his bike. "See ya at the fair next weekend!" Kevin laughed as he revved his bike as he sped away. The tail pipe popped and sputtered.

"We gotta get that spoiler fixed," Eddy stated.

"But Eddy, only registered vehicles can participate in the car show," Double D pointed out.

Eddy's face sunk. "You're killing me, Sockhead…"

"I'm afraid not. It's stated in this flyer I got in the mail." Double D pulled a yellow piece of paper from his pocket, advertising the Peach Creek Fair.

Eddy let out a huge disappointed groan. "How much are we gonna have to pay to register the van?"

"Fifty-eight dollars and seventy-nine cents," Double D answered.

"That's not _too_ bad," Eddy said, cheering up a bit. "We can earn that in no time! We'll fix up the van and earn the money when we finish!" Eddy put his arms around Ed and Double D's necks. "We'll show Shovel-chin that our van is the best set of wheels in Peach Creek!"

"Don't forget me!" Carrie chirped, squeezing in Eddy's arms in between Ed and Double D. The Eds stared at her awkwardly and Eddy released them from his grip.

"Let's just go get these tires on," Eddy grumbled.

A short time later, the four had made it to the junkyard, where the Eds were using the tools they borrowed from Kevin to remove the old, cracked rims from their van. Carrie had dragged a huge pile of t-shirts outside and was digging through them. Eddy was digging hastily through Kevin's tool bag, Ed was using a tire iron to remove the older rims, and Double D was placing the spark plugs.

"Good thing Kevin forgot that he let us borrow his tools," Eddy said, dumping the bag of tools on the ground. "Check this thing out!" Eddy pulled out a ratcheting wrench.

"That's a ratchet, Eddy," Double D stated.

"Old rims are gone!" Ed shouted, throwing the old rims as far as he could across the junkyard.

"Spark plugs in place, Eddy!" Double D slammed the hood shut. "Ed, let me help you align those rims."

"No, I got it," Ed said as he wobbled back and forth, holding the tire.

"Ed, watch the jack!" Eddy screamed, but it was too late.

Ed had teetered too close to the jack that was holding the van's right side up, snagging his jacket on the lever. He pulled on it, trying to free himself, when the jack dropped the van hard. All three of the Eds heard a sickening metallic cracking sound when it hit.

"Nooo!" Eddy wailed. "Ed you idiot!" Eddy grabbed Ed by the shirt collar. "You better not have broken anything!"

"Hey, I thought you guys were going to help me find my favorite shirt," Carrie shouted, her head poking through the mountain of shirts she had dragged outside.

"We're kinda in the middle of something," Eddy said with his teeth gritted.

"No you're not," Carrie replied. "You're standing right there. You're not in the middle of anything."

Eddy rolled his eyes and turned back to the van, where Double D was using the jack to lift up the side of the van. He pulled out an old skateboard, laid down on it, and rolled himself under the van, holding a flashlight.

"Hmm," Double D said to himself as he scanned the van's bottom with his flashlight. "Oh, that's not good." Double D rolled himself out.

"Is it bad?" Eddy said fearfully.

"Not really, the axle is just a bit cracked. I think I can fix it with a quick spot weld." Double D wiped some grease off his hands.

"Great, where are we gonna find a welding torch?"

"I've got one," Mei-Lin, who had been listening behind them, said. One of the rims from earlier was stuck to her face. "By the way, does this belong to any of you?"

"Nope, not us," Eddy answered nervously. Mei-Lin pulled it off and tossed it aside. "Now, about that torch…"

"I'll go get-" Mei-Lin paused and looked at Carrie's mountain of dirty shirts. "Carrie, why are your clothes out here?"

"I'm looking for my favorite shirt," Carrie explained as she continued to sift through the pile. "It's the one with Bobo the Black Hole Bounty Hunter on it."

"Shouldn't you wear something appropriate on your, um, date?" Double D asked.

Carrie just looked at him, smiled, and said, "Nope!"

"You're clothes are even dirtier…" Mei-Lin complained. "Wait, did you say Carrie was going on a date?"

"Yeah, with the guy that owns that auto parts shop on Main Street," Eddy replied.

"Good, now I can eat supper in peace," Mei-Lin said.

"Speaking of that, exactly how old did you say Carrie was again?" Double D asked.

"Well, that depends."

"Pardon?"

"According to Carrie's records, she was born some five-hundred odd years before our time in 2625, but placed in some sort of suspended animation right after she was born. In our time, she has two legal ages, seventeen and five-hundred and something, I forgot the exact number."

"Carrie's second age is 568," THOMAS answered.

"Fascinating," Double D said as he helped fit the tires on the van's right side.

"Hey, pay attention!" Eddy snapped. He picked up the tire iron and leaned on it.

"Miss Carrie's story is quite interesting," THOMAS went on. "Would you like to hear it?"

"Nah," Eddy, Mei-Lin, and Carrie all said in unison.

"Do tell!" Ed said.

"Later, Ed! Just get those tires on!"

"Found it!" Carrie exclaimed, holding up a green shirt with a man holding two futuristic guns in his hands.

"I'll go get that blow torch," Mei-Lin said, walking back to her ship.

"We'll repair the axle once the tires are on," Double D explained as Eddy tightened the bolts on the tires.

"That's got that side," Eddy said. Out of nowhere, the shirt Carrie was wearing landed on his face. He turned around and saw Carrie fidgeting with her favorite shirt, trying to put it on.

"That's odd, it fit the other day," Carrie said, still trying to put on her shirt. Eddy twisted up the shirt she threw and flipped it at her, hitting her in the head.

"Hahaha!" Eddy laughed. Suddenly, he heard a loud whip and something struck him on the butt, hard.

"Uh-hahaha!" Ed laughed, holding an oil rag. "I got 'cha Eddy!"

"Why, you!" Eddy twisted up Carrie's shirt again. Ed did the same with the oil rag.

"Predictable," Double D muttered. He then grinned mischievously and tip-toed around to the other side of the van.

Eddy and Ed both popped each other, making two loud whip cracking noises, startling Carrie and causing her to tumble off her pile of shirts head-first. Double D opened the front door and pulled a towel that was covering the seat. He rolled it up and whipped Eddy in the back. The Eds then started attacking each other, then suddenly the loudest whip crack they had ever heard interrupted their fun and Eddy was sent flying into a junk pile. Ed laughed at him, when the same sound went off and sent him flying as well. Double D turned around to see what it was, but it was too late and he was sent flying as well. The three of them, now embedded in a pile of junk, opened their eyes and saw Carrie laughing at them and pointing her finger. She had whipped the Eds using her tail.

"I win!" She laughed. She was now wearing her favorite shirt.

Sometime later, the Eds had finished putting on the tires and Double D was repairing the axle on the van. Carrie had long since left for her dinner date, and Eddy and Ed were sitting on the ground, their backs resting against the van and their hands behind their heads.

"Remember playing Robot Rebel Ranch?" Eddy asked.

"Oh, yeah! That was cool!" Ed replied. "Prepare to be terminated, solar scum!"

"Good times, eh, lumpy?"

"Yeah… Oh, remember when you had to fight Rolf in that duel, and we came here?"

"I try not to remember that day…" Eddy grumbled. "Oh, remember when we finally decided to fix the van up and we spent all week refinishing the wood inside?"

"Yeah, and when Double D got that bug up his nose when we replaced the carpet?"

"Finished, Eddy!" Double D announced as he pulled himself out from under the van.

"Never thought I'd see the day this thing would be roadworthy…" Eddy said as he and his friends stared at their van. "Almost brings a tear to my eye." Eddy rubbed his eye.

"Oh, can we give it a test drive?" Ed asked. "Please, Eddy?"

"Uh, I think we better wait until tomorrow, Ed. It's getting late," Double D said.

"Now all we need to fix is that spoiler." The Eds began walking out of the junkyard.

"So how do you think Carrie's date is going?" Double D asked.

"Who cares?" Eddy replied.

"You think someone will ever take me out to dinner, Eddy?" Ed asked.

"In your dreams, skunk-pits…"

Meanwhile, across town inside one of Peach Creek's cheapest burger joints, Randall was sitting in a booth, watching Carrie scarf down burgers from a huge pile sitting on the table in front of them.

"You know, you eat like a friend I used to have when I lived in Jersey…" Randall said. Carrie just belched loudly. "You think you could leave me one, blondie?" Randall went to grab one of the burgers, but Carrie stuck her head out from the side of the pile and snarled at him, bearing her teeth.

"Hey, wait your turn!" She growled. Randall pulled his hand back and Carrie went back to happily stuffing her face.

"Worst date ever," Randall groaned as he rested his head on his hand and his stomach started growling. "Excuse me, could I have a small burger?"

"Sorry sir," the waitress answered. "Your lady friend got the last ones. By the way, here's your bill." Randall took the piece of paper, slammed his head on the table and let out a huge groan.


	6. Errand Boy Ed

**Ed at the Wheel**

**A/N: Thought I'd post this a bit early to celebrate starting my third semester at college! Also, I'm going to try to do a QandA chapter, and do a segment every five questions, and all characters are game, including the author (even though I'm not a character in this fic lol). Either post them in a review or PM me, it doesn't matter. Anywho, on with the fic!**

Bang! Bang! Bang! The sound of hammers beating on metal echoed through the Peach Creek junkyard. Its culprits, Eddy and Ed, were hammering away on the spoiler Ed damaged some time ago when he dropped a cinder block on it accidentally. A few more hammers and it was done.

"Phew!" Eddy gasped, wiping sweat off his forehead. "It's ready, Double D."

"Look out!" Ed exclaimed as he lifted the piece of metal up and tossed it on the roof of the van, where Double D was waiting with a battery powered drill and some bolts.

"I'll have it attached in no time!" Double D said as he put on a pair of goggles and began screwing the spoiler into place.

Eddy and Ed smiled up at Double D as he promptly finished his work. He climbed down using a ladder and removed his goggles. Ed then folded up the ladder and tossed it back in the junkyard. The Eds looked at their van in awe.

"Cool!" They all three said at once.

"It's absolutely magnificent!"

"It needs something," Ed pointed out.

"What do you mean?" Eddy snapped, offended by Ed's statement.

Ed reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a metal plate wrapped in plastic, the letters "THE3EDBOYS" pressed on the front, along with a peach.

"How did you pay for that, Ed?" Eddy asked.

"I saved up some money from babysitting Sarah," Ed explained. "I was saving it for a new Zorba Bots model kit, but I thought I'd use it to make our craft space-worthy, erm, roadworthy!"

"Ed, I'd tell ya I love ya, but I ain't that kind of guy!" Eddy said. "Let's put it on!"

Ed slapped the plate on and held it while Double D promptly bolted it in. The trio took a step back and marveled at their van.

"Hard to believe it used to look like this." Double D took out an old photograph of the van, showing its state from when the Eds were younger.

"Whose van is that?" Ed asked.

"Ours, ya lump!" Eddy answered. "Hard to believe it's the same van. Let's take it for a spin!"

"Yeah!" Ed exclaimed.

"Sounds good," Double D added.

Eddy whipped out the key, a fake jawbreaker keychain dangling from the ring, and he opened the door. Ed opened the side door and sat down in the seat while Double D climbed in the back and sat in the back seat in between Ed and Eddy. Eddy was about to close the door when he heard someone.

"ED!"

"Sarah?" Ed said. Right on cue, Sarah and Jimmy stormed up to the van.

"Beat it, Romeo and Juliet!" Eddy shouted. "We're going for a cruise in our new and improved van!"

"Me and Jimmy need a chauffeur to drive us to the movies for a date!" Sarah screamed. "And Mom said that Ed has to drive us in her car!"

"But Sarah, I don't like driving mom's car! It smells like moth balls and the seats chafe my buttocks!"

"No way!" Eddy argued. "We're hittin' the candy store and the arcade to reward ourselves for our hard work!"

"I'll tell Mom, and then you can say bye-bye to your driving privileges!" Sarah yelled at Ed.

"No, not that!" Ed wailed. "Eddy, can't we just drop them off at the theater?"

"Ugh, fine, if it'll get Mega-mouth and the Boy Wonder off my ass," Eddy growled.

"Do we have to go in this tacky thing?" Jimmy asked.

"Fine, but if any of you cause us any trouble, Ed will get in big trouble!" Sarah added. "Scoot over, Double D!" Sarah asserted, shoving Double D against the other side of the seat.

Eddy rolled his eyes, hung a small disco ball in the rearview mirror, and started the engine. The van sputtered a bit, but after a second key turn, the engine rumbled furiously. Just then, Mei-Lin and Carrie ran out after them.

"Wait!" Mei-Lin screamed. Double D rolled down the window.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Do you have room for two more? We need to hit the mall. Carrie needs some new shirts."

"But I don't wanna go to the mall!" Carrie whined. "It's boring!"

"You're going and that's final!"

"You're not my boss!" Carrie folded her arms under her chest and stuck her nose in the air. "I'm technically older than you!" She stuck her tongue out.

"I pay the bills, so I make the rules! We're going clothes shopping!"

"No way!" Eddy said. "I hate the mall!"

"Me, too!" Carrie shouted angrily.

"But Eddy," Double D replied. "We have room for one more in the back seat, and whoever was left could sit in the very back."

Eddy groaned again. "Fine!"

"Fine, I'll go but I get the back seat!" Carrie crawled in and squeezed in between Double D and Sarah. Mei-Lin opened the back door and sat down on the water bed.

"Why do you guys have a water bed back here?" Mei-Lin sunk down and fell on her back, unable to sit properly on it.

"You better buckle up," Eddy growled.

"Hey, Mom said Ed was the only one allowed to drive me!" Sarah screamed.

"No, I'm driving!"

"I think Double D should drive," Jimmy stated. "He's safer!"

"Double D doesn't have a license yet," Eddy grumbled. "Now shut up or we're not going anywhere."

"I'm hungry…" Carrie complained.

"Shut up!" Eddy screamed. He buckled his seatbelt and stretched his feet to the pedals.

The van slowly made its way out of the junkyard, avoiding large pieces of metal and piles of junk. Finally, it reached the exit. Eddy stopped in front of the road and flashed his turn signal.

"Is it clear that way, Ed?"

"All systems are go, Eddy!" Ed replied.

Eddy turned left and eased out of the junkyard. He drove for a little while, but found the old road to be rough.

"Feels like the road crew forgot to do their job," Eddy complained as he was jarred around.

"Hey, watch those bumps!" Mei-Lin yelled, as the waterbed was tossing her around.

"Wee!" Carrie cheered. Ed rolled his window down and stuck his head out the window, letting his tongue flap like a dog's.

"Ed you maniac!" Eddy laughed. "Let's listen to some tunes." Eddy turned on the radio and some disco music started playing.

"This music sucks! I wanna listen to Brandy Spikes!" Sarah protested.

"Too bad!" Eddy yelled back. "Brandy Spikes is a hack, anyway!" Sarah screamed in anger, causing Eddy to recoil and swerve, almost hitting an oncoming truck.

"You little brat!" Eddy shouted. "Don't do that while I'm driving!" Sarah just smirked. "Which way is the damn movie theater?"

"Language, Eddy," Double D scolded.

"How the heck should I know?" Sarah answered.

"You don't even know where it is!? Argh!"

"There it is!" Ed pointed to a highly decorated theater with a sign reading "Peach Creek Theatre."

Eddy stopped in front of it. "Get out!" He commanded.

"Good riddance," Sarah complained. "We'll be done in two hours. Don't forget us!"

"Alright, alright!" Eddy shouted. "But you squirts owe me gas money!"

"Speaking of which, shouldn't we stop somewhere and get some?" Double D asked, noticing that the gas meter was almost on empty.

"I guess we should," Eddy grumbled.

"I'll pay for the gas," Mei-Lin said, crawling in the backseat beside Carrie.

"Okay," Eddy grumbled.

"And I hate to ask, but could you come in with us? I don't know where everything is and I could use some help finding everything."

"Ugh!" Eddy growled. "Fine, fine!"

Eddy drove down the road until he found a gas station. He pulled in beside a gas pump and a bell went off. Just then, a familiar face, Randall from the auto parts store, walked up to them.

"Odd, I had no idea Peach Creek still had an old-style gas station," Double D pointed out.

"Randall!" Eddy said, rolling down his windows.

"Yup," Randall said. "I went bankrupt after paying the bill for my dinner date with Carrie last night. No offense, but I think I'll stay away from tailed girls… Anyway, I lost my shop and had to get a job with my freaky cousin, Ned." Randall pulled the gas nozzle from the pump and stuck it in the van's gas tank. "By the way, you guys did an amazing job on the van! I'm glad I got to see it!"

"Thanks!" Eddy replied.

"How much gas?" Randall asked.

"Fill the tank," Eddy replied. Randall inserted the nozzle and began pumping gas.

"Wow, I love the paintjob! Mind if I take a look in the interior?"

"Sure, just wipe your feet before stepping on my carpet," Eddy answered as he put his feet up on the steering wheel.

Randall opened up the back of the van and was wowed by what he saw. The floorboards were replaced with red, genuine shag carpeting, there was a small waterbed in the corner, the walls were simulated wood paneling, and there was an old cabinet-style turntable in the other corner.

"This… is my dream ride…" Randall mumbled. He started to climb inside.

"Hey, I said wipe your feet!" Eddy snapped.

"Whoops," Randall said, looking down at the oil footprints he left on the carpet. "I'll clean that after I've finished pumping your gas."

"Speaking of which, does anyone else smell gasoline?" Double D remarked.

Eddy and Randall both looked around at the side the gas tank was on to see the gas nozzle pouring gasoline all over the ground and the side of the Eds' van. Randall quickly ran and turned off the pump.

"You better clean this up," Eddy yelled.

Randall wiped up the gas with a towel, then took some oil remover and scrubbed his footprints out of Eddy's carpeting.

"Sorry about that, man," Randall apologized. "Please don't tell my boss…"

"Just don't let it happen again," Eddy replied. Randall leaned inside Eddy's window.

"Hey, the dashboard looks nice, too! That wood finish and vinyl really matches the interior…" Randall looked in the window and saw Mei-Lin's face. "Oh, you didn't tell me you had a chick in the back."

"Excuse me!?" Mei-Lin exclaimed.

"Hi, I'm Randall. You and me? Dinner at seven?"

"No thanks…"

"C'mon! I'm buying!"

"Carrie, sick 'em…" Carrie bared her teeth and started growling at Randall, causing him to back away in fear. "Here, just take our money and let us leave." Mei-Lin handed him a ten.

"Uh, thanks," Randall said. Eddy started up the van and sped away. Randall could still hear Carrie growling over its engine.

Randall pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Hey, Charlene? Yeah, it's Randall. Sorry, but it's not working out. I've found someone else…" Click! "Hello?"

"That guy was a creep," Mei-Lin said. "How do you guys know him again?"

"He gave us a big discount on tires for the van," Eddy answered. "He's also the guy to took Carrie on a dinner date." Mei-Lin nodded.

"That explains a lot…"

"So, off to the mall," Eddy said with disgust.

"Why do you hate the mall so much, Eddy?" Double D asked.

"Have you seen it lately? There's nothing but women's clothes! The food places are overpriced, there's no arcade, and there's no one there but fifty-year old women trying to dress like their sixteen!"

"Thank you for putting that image in my head, Eddy…" Double D slumped down in his seat. "So, why do _you _hate the mall, Carrie?"

"It's boring! The people there won't let me have any fun! And Mei-Lin isn't much better…"

"Well, maybe if you wouldn't try to climb the shelves and eat the merchandise…" Mei-Lin retorted.

"Hey, if they didn't want me to climb them, then they shouldn't have made them so climbable! And maybe if we would've gone to that buffet I was promised-"

"C'mon, don't fight," Ed said. "The mall isn't all that bad! There's this cool gaming shop where I get my figures at, and there's this knife shop beside the restrooms that sells these cool samurai swords!"

Eddy raised his eyebrow a bit. "Huh, that sounds worth checking out."

"Ed, don't you already have a katana?" Double D asked.

"Yup, five of them! And a Lizardon arm blade, a Lothar the Barbarian limited edition broadsword, and a boomerang dagger from 'Zombie Killers 3!'"

"We'll check it out after we get Carrie some new shirts, preferably some that won't rip every time she has another… growth spurt," Mei-Lin added.

"I hope they have a shirt from the 'Boxing Brawlers' movie," Carrie said.

"That movie hasn't been filmed yet, Carrie. This is the past…"

"Oh."

"Well, we're here," Eddy announced as he pulled into the parking lot.

Eddy pulled into the Peach Creek Mall parking lot. The "mall" was more like a flea market with tons of mini-shops placed inside a large warehouse. There were people everywhere, most of them middle-aged women, dressed, as Eddy said, teenagers.

"So, Mei-Lin, what are malls like in the year 2600?" Double D inquired.

"Much bigger," Mei-Lin answered. "They're kinda obsolete, since you can easily just order what you want and pick it up at a mail outpost, but people still like to shop there."

"No teleporters?" Ed said, disappointed.

"Not in this part of the universe, anyway," Mei-Lin replied.

"Aw, the future sucks!"

The five of them pushed through the crowds, trying to make their way to a shop named "Kit's Shirt Emporium." The walkways were really narrow, and people were packed in like sardines; it was almost as if an after Thanksgiving Black Friday sale was going on.

"I'll admit," Double D explained, "Malls in our time are normally much bigger. Peach Creek just made there's a little smaller to save money."

"Cheap bastards," Eddy grumbled as he shoved through the crowd. "Hey, watch it! I'm walkin' here!"

They eventually made it to the shop. T-shirts of every kind imaginable hung from the walls and were stacked high on tables. Though the shop was small, their selection of t-shirts was enormous, with shirts of every size, color, and type imaginable.

"Hey, you guys doing alright today?" A friendly store clerk greeted them.

"Eh," Eddy mumbled.

"Well… Um, we're having a sale on our graphic tees. If you need any help please don't hesitate to ask." Carrie's eyes lit up.

"I'm looking over here!" Carrie exclaimed as she ran towards the graphic t-shirt section of the store.

"Not so fast," Mei-Lin said, grabbing her by the hair, stopping her.

"Ow," Carrie yelped.

"You have enough of those kinds of shirts. Let's go pick you out something that looks nice, or that'll at least tough enough to last you a few months." Carrie scowled and folded her arms under her boobs as Mei-Lin dragged her away by the hair.

"Look Double D!" Ed exclaimed. "They have a limited edition Zombie Mecha Shogun Swordsman shirt!"

"That's ni-" Double D stopped mid-sentence when he spotted a tag reading "used." "Ed, that shirt has millions of someone else's dead skin cells!" Double D recoiled in terror.

"Oh, it'll be fine after a good wash," Ed reassured him. He grabbed Double D and forced the shirt on him. "Looking good!"

"I've been violated!" Double D yelled. He ran through the store, screaming and tugging at the shirt. "Get it off! Get it off!"

"Hold on there, trigger!" Eddy snagged Double D's shirt with a metal hangar, pulling him back. "We're bailing out of here." Eddy pulled the shirt off Double D and threw it in a random pile of shirts. "Hey, Mei-Lin, we'll be back in a few minutes!"

"Okay," Mei-Lin answered, digging through a pile of T-shirts.

"Wait, take me with you!" Carrie cried, running after them.

"Oh no ya don't!" Mei-Lin grabbed her by the shirt and dragged her back.

The Eds began making their way through the crowd again. Double D had grabbed a map so they could better navigate. Ed was looking for either of his favorite stores, using a rolled-up mall map as a makeshift telescope. Eddy was shoving people out of his way, trying to keep up with his two friends.

"C'mon! Move it or lose it, people!" Eddy yelled.

"Ed, is that store you were talking about called 'Toto's Knives and Swords'?" Double D asked.

"I think so," Ed replied.

"According to this map, it's the first store up ahead, next to the restrooms and across from the 'Bikini Bonanza' store."

Eddy's eyes got huge. "Bikini bonanza!? Let's go!" Eddy grabbed his friends and pushed them through the crowd faster. Eventually they came to a run-down looking shop named "Toto's Knives and Swords." Racks holding large knives and swords sat in the small windows and a beaded curtain hung in place of a door.

"Ed, my man!" A voice with a heavy Spanish accent yelled. "Welcome back to Toto's?"

"Hector!" Ed yelled back as he casually strolled in. "What's up?"

"Oh, man you came just in time, my friend! We just got these in!"

A man of Spanish descent walked out from a storage area, holding a few elongated boxes labeled "Ronin Master" on them. He had a scar across his left eye, and wore a blue jean shirt, black jeans, and large, rattlesnake-skin boots.

"Wow, this looks intriguing…" Double D said nervously.

"These your friends?" The man asked.

"Yup! Meet Eddy and Double D!" Eddy and Double D waved sheepishly at him.

"Ah, welcome! Any friend of Ed's is a friend of Hector!" The man said, smiling almost eerily.

"So, what cha got today?" Ed asked.

"I got a shipment in of Ronin Master handmade katana." Hector took out a large, sharp looking dagger and sliced through one of the boxes, revealing a nice-looking black katana inside. Ed gazed at his reflection showing through the waxed scabbard.

"Cool…" He said in awe.

"The saya is made with artificial buffalo horn, the tsuba and fittings are all iron, and it's full tang." Hector grabbed the katana's handle and pulled the blade from the scabbard. "The blade is hand-forged ten-eighty carbon steel with a wire-brushed hamon." Hector pointed out a wavy line going down the katana's blade.

"Nice," Ed said.

"Since you're my number one customer, I sell one to you for…seventy-five dollars?"

Ed gave him a deadpan look for a minute, then gasped as he searched his pockets for money. He then pulled off his shoes and dug out a hundred dollar bill and a few twenties. He grinned as he waved it in front of Hector's face.

"I'm going to look around first," Ed replied.

"Sure, take your time, my friend!"

"Whoa, check it out!" Eddy said, grabbing a huge scimitar off the wall. He waved it around, nearly taking off the top of Double D's hat.

"Watch it, Eddy!" Double D snapped.

"Hey, you break it you buy it!" Hector yelled as he unboxed some more of those Ronin Master katana.

Double D examined a European broadsword. "The authenticity of some of these weapons are quite questionable," he whispered to Eddy.

"Eh, those are junk," Ed added. "You want these!" Ed pointed to a rack of nice looking swords of all shapes, sizes, and styles.

"Now these look somewhat better," Double D said, examining a Roman-style dagger.

Ed adjusted his glasses and unsheathed a Chinese-style longsword and struck a pose. Eddy grabbed a pirate-style cutlass and struck another pose.

"Wanna fight, Ed?" Eddy asked.

"No sword fighting! Ed, control your friend!" Hector yelled, putting up a price sign reading $150.

"Guys, please!" Double D said. "I'm trying to concentrate." Double D leaned over the counter to look at the swords hanging behind. "Excuse me, Hector is it?"

"Yes, what do you need?"

"I would like to look at that rapier, please?"

"Oh, that is a nice piece," Hector replied, grabbing the sword from off the rack. "Is entirely authentic. I have one at home, myself." Hector, swung the sheathed sword around and pointed the handle at Double D. "Look for yourself, my friend." He was obviously skilled with it.

"Hmm…" Double D grabbed the sword and unsheathed it.

"You seem like you know how to handle one of those yourself."

"Yes, my grandfather was a fencer," Double D replied, performing a fencing stance. "He taught me the basics before he moved to the Yukon."

"Sounds like he was an adventurous man." Hector pointed out.

"Yes, indeed! He's well-traveled and has been nearly everywhere!" Double D sheathed the rapier and handed it back to him.

"I think I'm finished looking," Ed said, putting away the Chinese sword. "I'll take that katana you showed me earlier."

"Hey, you wouldn't forget your pal, now would ya?" Eddy said, putting his arm around Ed's neck. The cutlass was slung over his own shoulder.

"Pick something out," Ed said.

"I give you half-price on that cutlass," Hector wheezed. "I need to clean out my inventory."

"What about you, Double D?" Ed asked.

"I couldn't, Ed. It's your money."

"That giant needle sword looked cool," Ed pointed out.

"I'll sell it to you for $35. It's not doing any good collecting dust here," Hector said.

"Very well," Double D replied. "Some physical activity will do me some good."

Ed paid for the three swords and Hector wrapped them in three black sword socks. Ed grabbed them and slung them over his shoulder and the Eds all exited the store together.

"Come back any time now," Hector said. He laughed almost sinisterly as they left.

"Hector is a nice fellow, despite his outward appearance," Double D said.

"Yup! I've been buying from Hector since he opened his store a couple of months ago," Ed added.

"He's a bit creepy, though," Eddy pointed out. "Did you see that scar on his eye? And who the heck is Toto?"

The Eds walked back to the shirt store to check on Mei-Lin and Carrie. Sure enough, they were still there, Mei-Lin holding an armload of t-shirts and Carrie standing beside her scowling, her cheeks puffed out and her arms still folded under her chest.

"Hey, you guys ready to move on?" Eddy asked.

"I would be, if Carrie would cooperate," Mei-Lin answered. Carrie just stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry. "C'mon, Carrie, tell me which one of these shirts you like?" Carrie stuck her nose in the air and turned away.

"I don't like any of those shirts!"

"Fine, I'm done arguing! Go pick out a few graphic tees so we can go!" Carrie ran off happily.

"Would you like to borrow this?" Eddy asked, handing Mei-Lin his new cutlass.

"No thanks," Mei-Lin replied.

Later, they finally paid for Carrie's new shirts and left Kit's T-shirt Emporium. Unfortunately, Carrie once again refused to cooperate and tried to eat the shirts Mei-Lin picked out for her, causing them to take much longer than usual.

"We better leave. The mall will be closing soon." Double D pointed out. They all walked outside and towards the van.

"Aw, but I didn't get to go to Jeff's Gaming World!" Ed complained.

"Oh, can it, Lumpy! You're broke anyway," Eddy said.

"Nope, I've still got some of my emergency funds," Ed replied, pulling out another handful of twenty dollar bills out of his pants pocket. They were covered in some sort of slimy stuff.

"Ed, where did you get all of this money?"

"My mom and dad pay me to do stuff around the house. Oh, and to spy on Sarah and Jimmy."

"Speaking of which, I feel like we're forgetting something," Mei-Lin said, putting Carrie's shirts in the back seat. Then the five of them piled in the van and drove back to the cul-de-sac.

Meanwhile, at the movie theater, Sarah and Jimmy were standing outside, waiting on their ride.

"I can't believe that fathead forgot about us!" Sarah screamed. "C'mon Jimmy, let's just walk home!"

"But Sarah, there might be thugs!"

Meanwhile, inside the mall at Toto's Knives and Swords, Hector was eating a slice of pizza and watching TV. Lying on the counter beside him was an empty VHS box labeled "Peach Creek Mall security footage."

"Hmm, let's see if our friends have arrived yet," Hector mumbled to himself, his mouth full of pizza.

He fast-forwarded the tape to the point where the Eds first arrived at the mall. He then noticed two girls walking with them, one a short, brown-haired girl and the other a blonde with extremely long hair and a tail. Hector then paused the tape and looked closely at them. He pulled out a small chip and a hologram popped out of it, showing Mei-Lin and Carrie's faces.

"Match detected," a mechanical voice said.

"Ah, they're here," Hector sneered. "After a month of putting up with this primitive time, they've finally shown up! Now, I can execute my ultimate plan…" Hector laughed sinisterly as he took another bite of his pizza. He leaned back as he laughed, causing him to start choking. His laughter turned to coughing as he hacked up a chunk of chewed-up cheese, spattering it all over the TV screen.

A man who was tied up jumped out of the back room, screaming. He wore a name badge reading "Toto" and was wearing clothing similar to Hector's.

"Get back in there, Toto!" Hector screamed. He made a crazy shrieking noise and shoved Toto back in the storage room, slamming and locking the door.


	7. Grand Ed Auto

**Grand Ed Auto**

**A/N: Not doing much in my classes so far, and I'm still working on getting into a work-study group, so have another chapter! :D**

**9/12 Edit: Also, just a quick note to all you reading, don't be afraid to ask questions or tell me any part you didn't like in my fanfiction. I'm still developing my craft, and feedback of any kind is greatly appreciated, but constructive criticism is especially valuable. Also, please be advised that I do like to respond to feedback personally, good or bad, so don't be surprised if you hear from me! ;D**

"Cool," Eddy, Ed, and Carrie said in unison as they stared at the new object on Double D's desk.

"You're so lucky, Double D!" Ed said.

"Well, my parents figured that I would need to learn to use one of these before I go off to college, so they graciously bought me one."

Sitting on Double D's desk was a brand new Macrohard computer. The monitor and tower both took up almost the whole desktop, leaving little room for the mouse and keyboard. The setup was obviously very heavy, as the desk's legs buckled under its weight.

"Best of all, the cable company just installed our internet this morning," Double D pointed out. He pushed the power button on the computer as his friends watched in awe.

"Now we can surf the web like the city folks do!" Eddy said.

The computer's screen flashed as icons popped up. Double D used the mouse to click on the "Internet" icon, then a box with a progress bar popped up. The computer's modem started humming loudly and strange sounds blared over the speaker. The four of them watched intently as the progress bar slowly reached ten-percent and stopped. They stared at the screen for what seemed like hours when the progress bar dropped back down to zero percent.

"Well, that plot led nowhere," Eddy grumbled. "C'mon, let's go do something outside."

Double D sighed. "So much for exploring the vast and infinite knowledge of the Internet…"

Double D followed his friends outside. Despite the warm, summer temperatures, a cool breeze swept through the cul-de-sac, however there wasn't a soul to be found. Nazz's lawn chair sat vacant in her yard, Kevin's motorcycle sat in pieces out on his driveway, Jonny left a bag of granola sitting next to his chess board, Rolf's animals were all loose in his yard with no Rolf to be found, and Sarah's picnic set was left on a blanket in Ed's yard, with no Sarah or Jimmy in sight.

"Something's amiss here," Double D said.

"I'm a miss!" Carrie remarked, pointing at herself. Eddy glared at her.

"Not funny," the short Ed-boy grumbled.

"Hey guys!" Ed called out. He was standing where the vacant picnic blanket laid, holding something. Eddy, Double D, and Carrie ran over to him.

"What's that?" Double D asked.

Ed used his glasses to focus on the object. "This is an earring, belonging to my baby sister!"

"So?" Eddy asked uncaringly. Ed clipped the earring to his nose, yelping slightly.

"So Ed found a possible clue, Eddy," Double D replied. "Sarah would not simply leave a piece of jewelry lying around unattended."

"I found a clue!" Carrie beamed, holding up a simple piece of glass she found on the ground.

"That's just a piece of glass, Carrie," Eddy said, unimpressed.

"Well, if it's not a clue, then why does it sparkle when I hold it like this?" Carrie put the glass piece in the sunlight, reflecting it in Eddy's eyes.

"That's it! Wait 'till I get my hands on you!"

"Wait, Eddy!" Double D grabbed him by the shirt. "I think Carrie might have something. Look!" Double D pointed to Ed's front window, which was busted out.

"Oh, no! My mom is gonna kill me!" Ed panicked.

Double D held the shard up to the broken remains of the window and examined it closely. He looked inside at Ed's living room, where he found more glass and a cinder block with a note tied to it. He put on a pair of gloves, leaned in Ed's window, and delicately removed the note.

"What's that?" Eddy asked.

"It appears to be a note," Double D replied. He opened it up and began reading it. "Dear Ed, Edd, Eddy, and the other chick, I have something that belongs to you. If you want it back, meet me at the lane by 2 PM. No cops! Two PM? That's an hour away!"

"Who is this diabolical fiend that has terrorized our tranquil cul-de-sac!?" Ed wailed.

"I believe I can figure it out by dusting for finger prints on the note," Double D replied.

The four of them went back to Double D's room to examine the evidence. Double D had the note and the glass shard in plastic bags. He grabbed a pair of tweezers and removed the earring from Ed's nose, dropping it in a third bag. He then placed it under a microscope.

"Interesting, but I don't see anything unusual on this." Double D gave Ed the earring back and grabbed the glass shard. He looked at it using his microscope. "Intriguing, this glass has traces of the same rubber used to make sneaker soles… Obviously, this shard of glass was stuck to the bottom of our perpetrator's shoe, and fell out at the location Carrie found it at." Carrie smiled, quite pleased with herself. "Now, let's look at this paper." Double D removed the paper with the tweezers and dusted white powder on it. He found a few finger prints and snapped some pictures.

"So, who did it?" Eddy asked impatiently.

"Patience, Eddy!" Double D pulled out his files on the neighborhood kids, skimming over each one, starting with the Kankers. He browsed and browsed, then a look of horror spread across his face.

"I bet it was those darn Kankers!" Eddy growled. Double D turned to Eddy.

"Worse. These finger prints belong to none other than Naomi…" Ed gasped in horror and hid in Double D's wastebasket and Eddy's face filled with fear.

"I thought she was on litter patrol after-" Eddy stopped mid-sentence, his face frozen.

"We saw her the other day, Eddy," Double D reminded the shortest Ed. "Remember?"

"I assumed she was cleaning up the alley," Eddy retorted.

"Fair enough, I suppose," Double D replied. "Now that we know the culprit, I think it's time we search her house for clues." Double D nervously gathered his forensic equipment, Eddy and Ed watching him fearfully and Carrie merely standing in the room smiling. "I don't like this anymore than you guys, but we must, for the good of the cul-de-sac."

Shortly, the four friends had arrived at Naomi's house, right behind Eddy's at the newly-build Cul-de-sac. The house was already in shambles, dirt and mold clung to the sides of the walls, the windows were cracked and held together with duct tape, and the yard was almost bare, save for a few patches of crabgrass. The Eds stood on the sidewalk in front of the house, shaking in fear, while Carrie just stared at it.

"Ooh, spooky," Carrie said.

"Y-y-you first, Double D…" Eddy stammered.

"I couldn't!" Double D answered shakily. "Not before Ed…"

"Oh, not me!" Ed stuck his head through the concrete under the ground like an ostrich, knocking his glasses off in the process.

"You're the detective," Eddy stammered again, hiding behind a nearby fire hydrant.

"Perhaps we should try again later…" Double D said.

"I wanna ring the doorbell!" Carrie cried, running towards the door with her finger pointed at the doorbell.

"No, Carrie!" All three Eds called after her, but it was too late.

The ditzy, blonde alien girl had already rang the doorbell multiple times. She pushed it until it literally fell off the doorframe. Carrie stood at the door a few minutes, the Eds cowering behind her.

"She's a goner," Eddy whimpered.

"Life is so cruel!" Ed cried.

Carrie walked over to the window, wiped off the dust, and peered inside, but could see nothing but darkness. She walked back to the door, knocked loudly, and waited a few minutes; nothing. She turned around and faced the Eds with a shrug.

"Nobody's home…" She said.

"Coast is clear! Let's hunt for clues!" Eddy ran onto Naomi's lawn, or what was left of it, anyway. Ed and Double D followed cautiously. Carrie dug through the dead bushes under the window, while Ed and Double D were sifting through some old junk.

"Do we even know what it was Naomi took from us?" Double D asked.

"No, but if it's ours I want it…" Eddy looked down to find a broken jawbreaker keychain, the same one he had put on the van key. "Naomi's got the key to the van!" He screamed.

"What!? But how?"

Eddy fumbled through his pockets, discovering a large hole in one of them.

"That happened to me one time," Ed said, wiping off his glasses. "I forget the rest…"

"Maybe you just dropped it a moment ago," Double D said, digging around where Eddy was looking.

"Then how did the keychain get broke?" Eddy asked.

"Hey, guys! I found something!" Carrie cried out from the back yard. The Eds all ran around the house to meet Carrie.

"Is it the key!?" Eddy asked excitedly.

"Nope," Carrie replied, smiling. "I think it's a giant gopher…"

"A gopher!?" Eddy picked up a broken metal chair leg and bashed Carrie over the head with it.

"Is that…Jonny!?" Double D asked, looking in the hole Carrie dug.

Sure enough, there was Jonny and Plank, bound, gagged, and buried in a hole with a bendy straw taped to their mouths for air. Ed rolled the obese teen over on his back and Double D used his army knife to cut the ropes.

"Boy, are me and Plank glad to see you guys!" Jonny said.

"Are you alright Jonny?" Double D asked.

"Yup, but Naomi's been terrorizing the cul-de-sac all mor-"

"Did you see my key!?" Eddy interrupted, grabbing Jonny by the shirt.

"Nope, but I think Naomi may have it…" Jonny replied.

"Ugh, we already knew that, Lard-head!"

"That would explain why she was driving your van earlier…" Jonny remarked. Eddy's eyes got as big as dinner plates. "She used it to round up Sarah, Jimmy, Me, and Plank. I'm not sure what happened to Kevin and Rolf, and I think Nazz is still at work."

"Then we have no time to lose!" Double D said.

"Hey look at this!" Carrie said, still a bit dazed from being hit. The Eds turned away from Jonny to see Carrie standing in front of the back door, reading a note taped to it. "Huh…"

"What's it say?" Eddy asked, shoving Carrie aside and grabbing the note. "It says, 'Mom, gone to the creek to have some fun. Be back whenever. Naomi'!?"

"The creek?" Double D asked. He took the note from Eddy to examine it. "This seems to be Naomi's handwriting."

"I hate that Naomi!" Eddy growled. "She swindled fifty bucks off of me with her fake gold watch! Stupid thing didn't even work."

"That's not the worst part, Eddy," Double D added. "The shortest way to the creek would be to cut through-"

"The candy store!" Carrie interrupted, throwing her arms in the air.

"No, Carrie…" Double D replied.

"The trailer park!" Ed screamed in horrow.

"Oh, great! Now we have to deal with those rotten Kanker Sisters!" Eddy stamped his foot on the ground angrily.

"We'll never get through alive!" Ed added.

"Hmm, I think I have a plan for traversing Park 'n' Flush Trailer Park unscathed." Double D flipped the note over and pulled out a pencil from under his hat. "If we disguise ourselves as construction workers-"

"Didn't we do that already?" Eddy asked, interrupting Double D.

"Indeed, but it worked, erm, partially," Double D replied. "On the vacant lot just down the lane is a broken down bulldozer. I don't think I can get it working in time, but with a little ingenuity, we can make it a convincing piece of construction equipment." Double D scribbled some notes down on the back of the note.

"I see where you're going!" Eddy added, reading over the notes. Jonny squirmed his way between them. "Buzz off, Jonny! Can't you see we're busy scheming?"

"Plank and I want to help! We want revenge on that evil Naomi for burying us like a couple of potatoes!"

"Very well, but we'll need to throw together an extra costume," Double D replied, writing Jonny into the plan.

"Do I get to wear a costume, too?" Carrie asked.

"No, but we have a very important job for you…" Eddy grinned.

Later, the Eds and Jonny had all grabbed their old construction worker disguises from the last time they pulled this same ruse off and dragged the old bulldozer right in the middle of Park 'n' Flush trailer park. Eddy played the part of bulldozer operator, and sat at the driver's seat pulling levers and spinning the steering wheel. Ed and Double D hung on to the back of the vehicle, dropping stolen traffic cones as the bulldozer slowly made its way across the trailer park. Jonny followed behind, pretending to direct traffic around the slow moving vehicle. And Carrie was inside a gutted portion of the bulldozer, dragging it along by the axles and making engine noises.

"Go faster, Carrie!" Eddy mumbled. "It has to look real!"

"Ooh! A shiny thing!" Carrie stopped the bulldozer right smack in front of the Kanker's trailer so she could pick up the object, a dirty old penny someone had dropped ages ago.

"Carrie, keep moving," Double D mumbled.

"Hey, what the heck is going on out here?" A gruff, female voice yelled. The Eds and Jonny turned slowly towards the Kanker's trailer to see all sisters standing at the door, all three of them looking as if they had been beaten up. The red-headed Kanker, Lee, stormed up to the bulldozer. "Get this thing off our yard!" She demanded.

"Um, apologies ma'am, but we're on our way to do some, uh, construction work by the creek and our dozer seems to have, um, stalled!" Double D smiled sheepishly at Lee, hoping his ruse had worked. Lee and her two sisters eyed the four construction workers carefully.

"Construction workers, eh?" Marie, the blue-haired Kanker asked suspiciously. "You got a license to drive that oversized sardine can?"

"Uh, you'll have to speak with our manager," Eddy spluttered, shoving Jonny in front of them.

"Uh, yup, he's licensed all right!" Jonny lied.

"Sounds good to me," May, the blonde, buck-toothed Kanker said.

"Shut up, May!" Lee picked up an old bucket and shoved it over her sister's head. "I don't buy it!"

"But, just look at these authentic name badges!" Eddy exclaimed, showing Lee a fake name badge made of cardboard. Lee just gave the Ed-boy an unbelieving look and ripped the fake moustaches off of all three of their faces.

"Exposed…" Double D whimpered.

"Busted," Eddy grumbled.

"Nope, can't think of a word," Ed said.

"Run boys!" Eddy and the other three boys turned to run away, but were caught by the Kankers.

"Not so fast, little man!" Lee said seductively. "We know what you's lost!"

"What!?" Eddy exclaimed.

"Yup," Marie affirmed. "That Naomi chick has your van and you're trying to get it back."

"She drove through here with it and wrecked our yard!" May yelled from inside the bucket. The Eds looked at the Kanker's yard, but it looked the same save for some tire tracks going through it.

"Yeah, so we scratch your back, you scratch ours," Lee added. "How about a deal?"

"A deal from a Kanker?" Eddy asked, his eyebrow raised suspiciously.

"I love it when you raise your eyebrow like that, Eddy," Lee purred, stroking his chin.

"Boys, huddle up!" Eddy, Double D, Jonny, and Ed all three huddled up together.

"I say we call Carrie out from the dozer and use her as bait while we make a run for it," Eddy whispered.

"I think we may be able to trust them this time, Eddy," Double D replied. "They do seem somewhat upset about their, um, yard."

"I'm not in my happy place, Eddy!" Ed whimpered.

"Plank says we should trust them for now, but keep on our toes," Jonny added.

"Eddy, there's safety in numbers, and Naomi is a formidable opponent, crafty and wily."

"Alright, we've got a deal!" Eddy and the others turned around to face the Kankers. "Okay, we'll let you help!" Eddy said begrudgingly.

"You won't be sorry!" May said.

"We aim ta please!" Lee added.

"But we have two conditions!" Eddy growled. "One, no lovey dovey stuff! We're just getting our van and the kids back, and getting our revenge on Naomi, ya got that?"

"I love a man who's authoritative…" Lee answered.

"Urgh!" Eddy roared in frustration. "Let's just get this over with." The newly-formed coalition of Peach Creek residents began following the tire tracks to the creek, leaving the bulldozer behind.

Carrie, who hadn't been able to hear what was going on, popped her head out of the bulldozer's smokestack, her face and hair covered in engine oil.

"Hey, does anyone want to see this thing I found?" Carrie looked around, but saw no one there. "Um, guys? Aw, they forgot about me…" Carrie pouted, realizing she had been left behind.

Back with the group, the Eds, Jonny, and the Kankers had followed the tracks to a clearing beside the creek. There sat the Eds van, in plain sight. Naomi was there, as were Kevin, Rolf, Sarah, and Jimmy, all tied up and forced to wear party hats.

"Baby sister!" Ed whispered.

"Keep it down, Ed!" Eddy covered Ed's mouth.

"Now, I've revised the plan to include the Kankers," Double D whispered. "All we have to do is-"

"We got this," Lee interrupted, crumbling up Double D's note. "Now, we three are gonna crash that party while you guys spring the brats and make a break for it."

"Yeah, things could get rough," Marie added, flexing her muscles. The Kankers emerged from the bushes as the guys all circled around through the thick brush.

"You guys enjoying the party?" Naomi sneered, chugging down some soda pop. She shoved some bean dip in Kevin's face. "Enjoy the food, Chin-Zilla! I stole it specifically for this party?"

"Celebrating what?" Kevin asked through the bean dip caked on his face.

"Why, my first day back from juvy, of course! Now the only thing missing are the three dorks. I need to give them a beating for ratting me out for that toilet incident…"

"How's about you pick on someone your own size, Lame-omi!" May taunted.

"You call that a name?" Lee asked.

"I don't see you two coming up with anything better!" May protested.

"Ah, the Kankers," Naomi butted in. She sat down on top of the table and rested her feet on Jimmy's head. "I was expecting only the dorks to show up, but the more the merrier. Have you come to accept my offer? I'll split the profits with ya."

"The Kankers don't work with a hack like you!" Marie answered.

"And no one roughs up these kids but us!" Lee yelled back.

"You really think you can take me?" Naomi jumped to her feet and flexed her muscles. "I've been workin' out while I was in prison. I think I can take all three of ya!"

"Oh yeah," Lee replied. "Marie! Do that thing with the engine block!" Marie pulled an engine block out of her pocket and punched it, causing it to shatter."

"Oh yeah!" Naomi pulled an old car axle out of her pocket and crushed it like an accordion, then tossed the twisted hunk of metal over the horizon.

Meanwhile, while Naomi and the Kankers were showing off their feats of strength by crushing and crumpling bits and pieces from automobiles, the Eds and Jonny had made it around to the bushes behind where the others were seated.

"Hang on, guys! We're bustin' ya out!" Eddy fiddled with the ropes holding Rolf to his chair.

"At last, Rolf shall be freed! Rolf must go home and change his trousers." Eddy made a disgusted face.

"About time you fat heads got here!" Sarah growled.

"Hey, we could leave you here!" Eddy snapped. "Man, these knots are tied tight! Anyone got a knife?" Everyone shook their heads. "Of all the rotten!" Eddy started gnawing on the ropes like a rat, however, something caught his eye. The van's driver-side door was wide open, and the keys were in the ignition!

"It's no use, Eddy," Double D whispered. "These ropes are made of a thick nylon fiber."

"Forget it, then," Eddy answered. "I need all you to follow my lead."

"Oh yeah! Watch this!" Lee screamed, handing May a rusted muffler. May shoved it in her mouth and took a huge bite out of it.

"That's nothing!" Naomi answered as she grabbed an old car door and tried to bite into it.

Meanwhile, the Eds were crouched down behind Naomi, sneaking towards the van. Jonny followed suit with Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, and Kevin slowly hopping behind them, still tied to their chairs. Eddy pilfered the keys from the ignition and threw them to Double D, who quietly unlocked the rear doors. Ed picked them up and started to shove them inside. He was about to throw in Rolf and Kevin when he heard a whistling noise.

"Huh, what's that?" Naomi asked, hearing the noise, too. Everyone else heard it, too.

Without warning, the old bulldozer the Eds were using earlier came crashing down on top of Naomi. As soon as it hit the ground, it fell apart, leaving Carrie standing in the rubble.

"There you guys are!" She exclaimed.

"So much for our contest," Lee said, dragging a battered and unconscious Naomi out from the bulldozer's broken shell. "Who's the new chick?"

"Uh, thanks for your help, but we have to go!" Eddy shoved Carrie in the van, slammed all the doors and sped away. The Kankers stared after them, confused.

"What the heck was that all about?" Marie asked.

"I don't know, but I do know one thing! We're getting paid tonight!" Lee picked Naomi up by the arm and lifted her over her head. The Kankers all laughed sinisterly.

Back at the cul-de-sac, the van was parked in front of Eddy's house. The Eds, Carrie, and Jonny were all relaxing in the front yard drinking lemonade and eating Cheezee Puff Nuggets.

"That was a close one," Eddy said, sipping his lemonade. "Luckily we got out of there before the Kankers turned on us."

"I'm not sure if they would have, Eddy, though it _is_ the Kankers after all…"

"The Kankers will always be evil she-monsters!" Ed asserted, swinging his lemonade around like a drunk person.

"Thanks for your help, Jonny," Eddy said, clanging his glass against Jonny's.

"No problem, Eddy! Me and Plank are just glad everything's back to normal."

"What about me?" Carrie asked.

"What _about_ you?" Eddy grumbled. "Huh, you'd think the others would be out on a nice day like this." Eddy looked around the cul-de-sac, but saw no one.

"I can't help but feel we're forgetting something important," Double D added.

Meanwhile, inside the back of Eddy's van, Jimmy, Rolf, Kevin, and Sarah were still tied to their chairs, jumping around and beating on the walls.

"Let us out already ya dorks!" Kevin roard.

"Ed-boys! Release Rolf so he may relieve himself!" Rolf whimpered, crossing his legs.

"Ed! Let me go or I'm telling mom!"

"Sarah, my wrists are chafing!"

Eddy leaned back in his lawn chair and took a big sip of his lemonade. "Eh, it's probably nothing, Sockhead."


	8. An Ed in the Hand

**An Ed in the Hand**

**A/N: …actually I don't have anything to say. Enjoy the new chapter!**

Double D put a mask over his head, slipped some latex gloves over his hand, and put on an apron. His friend, Ed, did the same, only his were on wrong. The two of them turned to Double D's bed, which had been scooted in the middle of the floor, where Carrie was sitting, kicking her feet. Double D grabbed a few medical instruments, a stethoscope, a tongue depressor, some cotton swabs, and an otoscope. Ed grabbed a pair of tweezers and some clamps.

"Ed, I don't think we'll need those," Double D said, taking the clamps from Ed.

"Aww," Ed pouted.

"Now let's examine the extraterrestrial!" Double D walked over to Carrie, Ed tagging along behind him.

"Hi, doc!" Carrie greeted the Ed-boy.

"I need you to open your mouth and say 'ah', please."

Carrie opened her mouth, strands of drool clinging to her teeth. Double D placed the wooden depressor on her tongue and using his otoscope's flashlight to look around. Her teeth were clean but very sharp, looking almost as if they had all been filed to a point.

"Cool," Ed said, looking in Carrie's mouth. Unfortunately neither got to look for very long, as Carrie snapped her jaws, biting off half of the depressor, then promptly chewed and swallowed it.

"Interesting… I'll need you to open your mouth again, please, but this time, don't eat the medical equipment."

"Okay," Carrie answered, picking a few splinters from her teeth.

"What do I get to do?" Ed asked, snapping the tweezers like a pair of crab claws.

"Just stand there and hold the examination equipment, Ed," Double D answered.

Carrie opened her mouth again and Double D used a cotton swab to collect a saliva sample. He rushed over to his desk and wiped some of it off onto some microscope glass. Ed and Carrie both wandered over behind the brainy Ed-boy, who was looking at his sample under the microscope.

"Is it serious, doc?" Carrie asked.

"That's interesting. There are a lot of foreign bacteria here. They seem to have a symbiotic relationship with our subject…"

"Cool! You should take them to the movies," Ed told Carrie, nudging her arm.

"Not what I meant, Ed." Double D turned to face his friends. "Carrie, if you would please return to your seat…" Carrie did as she was told and sat back down on Edd's bed.

"Ed, you can do this part." Ed grinned. "I need you to gently take a couple of hair samples, one from her head and one from her tail."

"Huh?" Carrie asked, slightly alarmed.

"Ed's just going to take some hair samples. It shouldn't hurt."

Ed carefully stuck the tweezers in Carrie's messy, blonde hair and gently removed a few long strands of her hair, but in the process, he had gotten the tweezers tangled in her hair. Not wanting to lose the samples, Ed grabbed them with his fingers and dropped them in a bag, then pulled on the tweezers, trying to free them.

"Ouch!" Carrie yelped. In a rage, Carrie lashed out at the Ed-boy with her tail. Ed ducked, and the thin but powerful tail smashed into a bookshelf, smashing a few shelves and knocking their contents onto the floor.

"Ed, you're upsetting the subject!" Double D grabbed the tweezers dangling from Carrie's hair and gently pulled them out. "Now, can I trust you to take a sample from her tail?" Double D eyed his friend with untrusting eyes.

"Yeah, I promise I'll be a good assistant!" Ed grabbed the tweezers. "Hold still, miss test subject."

Ed tried to pluck some hair form Carrie's tail, but she moved it out of the way. Focusing hard, Ed tried again, but with the same results. Carrie watched the large Ed-boy cautiously as he grabbed at her tail with the tweezers a third time, but again she whipped her tail out of the way.

"Quit foolin' around!" Ed yelled, again going for Carrie's tail with the tweezers; missed again!

Ed glared at Carrie's tail with his lower lip stuck out, but suddenly he got an idea. Ed grabbed the tip of Carrie's tail, surprising the Sepian, then plucked a few hairs. Carrie let out a yelp and wrapped the rest of her tail around Ed. Carrie let out an odd hiss, her eyes welling over from the pain.

"Oh, dear…" Double D muttered as he watched Ed wrestling with Carrie's tail as if it was some kind of huge jungle snake.

Meanwhile, outside Double D's house, Eddy was strolling up the sidewalk holding a piece of paper. He walked up to Double D's front door and rang the doorbell. He waited impatiently for a few moments, then aggravatingly rang it a couple more times. Suddenly, he heard the sound of broken glass and a large book fell on his head.

"What the hell?" Eddy asked, dazed and slightly ticked off.

He looked up to see Double D's bedroom window broken, and he heard some kind of commotion inside. Noting that Double D was obviously preoccupied with something, he let himself in and made his way to double D's room. Still hearing loud bangs and crashes from Double D's room, Eddy quietly opened the door to find Ed still wrestling with Carrie's tail and being swung around the room, and an angry Carrie throwing things at Double D, who was ducked down behind his desk, trying to pacify her with a piece of candy.

"What the heck are you guys doing!?" Eddy asked loudly. Carrie, Ed, and Double D all stopped what they were doing and stared at Eddy awkwardly. "Well?" Eddy asked again. The three of them looked at each other, and back to Eddy. Carrie released Ed and gently set down the microscope she was preparing to throw at Double D.

"Uh, nothing…" Ed, Carrie, and Double D said in unison.

"Good, because I just found our latest plot for today!" Eddy strolled over to where Carrie was sitting, stepping over broken glass and wood. Double D and Ed gathered around him and Eddy showed them the paper; a newer flyer for the Peach Creek Automobile Show.

"Nice paper," Carrie said in awe.

"But we already know about the car show, Eddy," Double D remarked, unimpressed. "Remember? We made a bet with Kevin?"

"No, look here!" Eddy pointed at the bottom of the flyer. "It's a list of judges, and Nazz is one of them!"

"Oh, she must be representing Clucky's Chicken, a sponsor for the Auto Show," Double D pointed out.

"They have the best drumsticks in town," Ed said hungrily, his mouth watering.

"That's right! And today, we're gonna go over to Nazz's house and brown nose her into voting for us!" Eddy rubbed his hands together.

"Really, Eddy? You think someone with such an upstanding, hard-working nature as Nazz will allow you to brown nose her into giving you her vote?"

"Hey, Lard-head told us she was working double-shifts at Clucky's Chicken. Think of the work at home she's having to put off! We'll go over to her house, be nice to her and do all her chores, and bam! Instant one vote for the Ed Van!"

"While I applaud that you're offering to help Nazz without expecting any monetary gain, your motives are blatantly selfish!" Double D argued. "And besides, isn't the contest in two days? Shouldn't we be putting our effort into making the van look nice for the show?"

"We can do that the day before, Sockhead! Haven't you ever heard of procrastination? The closer we wait until the due date to do something, the better the quality!"

"That's not how procrastination works, Eddy…"

"So it's settled!" Eddy wrapped his arms around Ed, Double D, and Carrie. "Let's go to Nazz's house!" Double D frowned.

A little later, the Eds were standing in front of Nazz's house. Nazz herself stepped out of her house. She was wearing her Clucky's Chicken uniform, consisting of a drab blue collared shirt and brown dress pants with a paper hat. Nazz didn't notice the Eds and Carrie until she had made her way to her car.

"Oh, hey guys," Nazz greeted them, showing signs of fatigue.

"Hi-ya, Nazz!" Eddy strolled up to Nazz, his friends following behind him. "We heard how Clucky's Chicken is making you work double shifts, so we came to see if you needed any help around the house while you were at work."

"And me too!" Carrie chimed in.

"Well, I have been pretty busy, and I, like, do have a lot of stuff I've been putting off the past few days. Are you sure you guys can handle it?"

"Of course!" Eddy beamed. "We Eds are all about selfless service!" Double D rolled his eyes.

"Well, if you say so," Nazz gave Eddy the keys to the house. "My 'rents are away at work, so no one will be home to bother you. I gotta motor. Take care!" Nazz got in her car and backed out of the driveway. "Oh, and the cleaning supplies are in the pantry beside the dish washer!"

"You can count on us!" Eddy waved back as Nazz sped down the lane.

"I suppose we better get started," Double D sighed.

"How bad can it be?" Eddy asked as he unlocked the door.

Unfortunately, Eddy ate his words when he flipped the light switch. The house was worse than Ed's bedroom. The carpet had greasy footprints from Nazz's job at Clucky's, there were buckets of Clucky's Chicken lying around filled with chicken bones and ants, and dirty clothes littered the floor.

"Nazz's house is so cool!" Ed yelled, running inside.

"Wait for me!" Carrie called after him.

"Disgusting," Double D cringed.

"It ain't that bad," Eddy remarked.

"You're joking, right? There's a drumstick stuck to the side of the wall!"

Hearing Double D, Carrie turned her head and, indeed, there was a half-eaten drumstick clinging to the wall. Carrie pulled it off, taking a chunk of the wallpaper with it, and swallowed it whole. Double D's stomach lurched and his face turned green.

"Carrie, you take care of these chicken bones," Eddy commanded. "Ed, you can gather up the laundry, Double D can go gather the cleaning supplies, and I'll grab the vacuum!"

Carrie saluted Eddy and began devouring the tainted chicken bones, ants and all, and Ed began grabbing armloads of clothes. Double D, still holding his hand over his mouth, made his way to the kitchen, and Eddy headed into the living room.

The whole house was in the same state as the main hallway. Pizza and takeout boxes were scattered across the floor, pizza slices and Chinese noodles housed miniature mushroom forests, and mold covered the carpet and walls. Eddy made his way through the living room, the carpet squishing with every step he took, and eventually made his way to a closet. Eddy opened the closet door, only to be buried by old pizza and Chinese takeout boxes. He tunneled his way through the mess and found the vacuum.

"About freakin' time," Eddy grumbled.

Meanwhile, Double D had made his way to the kitchen and was standing in the doorway holding his nose, absolutely repulsed by what he saw. The sink was piled high with dirty dishes, the table was covered in filth and rotting leftovers, and the floor was brown from the dirt and grime.

"Amazing how much filth piles up over a few short days of neglect," Double D wheezed, barely able to stand the smell.

Putting on his rubber gloves and tying plastic bags to his shoes, Double D walked over to the pantry beside the dishwasher. He opened it up carefully and removed a mop bucket, some soap, some multi-surface cleaner, and a few sponges. But, as soon as he closed the door, the dish washer popped open, revealing a giant, rotten dead fish stuffed inside.

"Good lord!" Double D shrieked. He backed away slowly, only to slip on a slice of old pizza and fall into a pile of rotten food. "Oh the inhumanity!" He screamed in horror.

Ed was having better luck. He had gathered all the dirty clothes, dirty curtains, and dirty rugs and taken them down to Nazz's basement where her washing machines were. Ed set the massive mountain of dirty laundry to the side and examined the washer and dryer before him.

"Needs detergent!" Using a pair of hockey sticks as tongs, he gently picked up the box of soap flakes beside the washing machine and poured the whole box in.

Ed then stuffed the washing machine with all the dirty laundry, greatly over-filling the machine, slammed the door shut, and turned it on. Ed grinned as the machine began to churn. He turned his back and headed upstairs, failing to see the soap suds frothing from the door and the machine shaking violently.

Carrie was faring much better. She had eaten most of the rotten food, which she considered a free snack. The hallways were clear of any chicken bones and assorted rotting foods, and she had built a nice tower out of the Clucky's Chicken buckets. Eddy walked by her, pushing the vacuum cleaner.

"Look what I made!" Carrie chirped, stacking a few more buckets beside her tower.

"You're supposed to be taking care of all the rotten food, not playing!" Eddy snapped. "And get this out of my way!" Eddy kicked Carrie's tower over, sending it crashing to the ground.

"Hey, I worked hard on that!" Carrie protested.

"Too bad," Eddy replied coldly. He plugged the vacuum in and turned it on, the noise scaring Carrie.

"Loud, scary monster!" Carrie cried, running as fast as she could away from Eddy, who was too busy vacuuming to notice her.

"Hey Eddy, I'm done with the-"

Before Ed could finish, Carrie slammed into him, knocking them both to the ground. Ed sat up in a daze, the whole room spinning in front of his eyes. He could make out Carrie, who was still reeling herself from the impact, and Eddy stepping back in forth behind her. Ed couldn't quite make out what he was doing, but saw some sort of metal beast latched on to his hand.

"Oh no, Eddy's being attacked!" Ed grabbed an umbrella lying on the ground and charged the vacuum in Eddy's hand.

"Ed, what the heck?" Eddy cried as Ed slapped Eddy's hand away from the vacuum.

Free from Eddy's grip, the vacuum rolled across the room by itself, sucking up a huge pile of dirt and grime. It then changed course and rolled over Carrie's tail, sucking the end of it into the vacuum. Carrie yelped and turned to face the rouge household appliance. She bit down on the vacuum's bag, spilling dirt everywhere, and Ed came up from behind and swung at the vacuum with his umbrella. It burst like a piñata, and dirt and vacuum cleaner parts were scattered everywhere.

"Aw," Carrie whimpered, looking at the tip of her tail, which was now shaved.

"Way to go, Hamlet," Eddy grumbled, now caked with dirt and who-knows-what else.

"I finished cleaning the kitchen- Oh my gosh!" Double D stood in shock, dropping his cleaning supplies. The house was now in worse shape than before. "Now how are we supposed to clean this?"

"Um guys," Ed said, staring at the basement door. Eddy, Carrie, and Double D both looked at the basement door, which was straining to hold back an intense wall of suds. "Is it supposed to do that?"

"Oh my," Double D braced himself. Carrie stood to her feet and walked to the door. She looked at it with curiosity, then grabbed the handle.

"No Carrie!" Eddy and Double D yelled, but Carrie didn't listen.

As soon as she twisted the door handle, a huge tsunami of soap suds and water flooded the house, forcing the doors and windows open. The water washed away all the dirt, depositing it along with the Eds and Carrie, on the front lawn. Soaked and buried in soap suds, the four regained their bearings and staggered to their feet, soaking wet and smelling like laundry detergent.

"Laundry's done," Ed announced.

"Really?" Eddy asked sarcastically.

"That was fun!" Carrie chirped, until she spat up a bunch of soap and water she swallowed during the tidal wave.

Double D stood to his feet, a bra and panties from Nazz's laundry clinging to his face. "As if our task weren't impossible enough already," He grumbled.

"At least the house is clean," Eddy remarked.

"Yeah, but everything's wet and soapy." Double D stood to his feet and wrung out his shirt.

"We just need to dry it off somehow," Eddy answered. "And I know just how to do it…"

A short time later, the Eds had…

"Ahem!" Carrie said, folding her arms under her breasts.

Sorry, the Eds _and_ Carrie had finished building a giant fan out of junk. Ed and Carrie shoved the massive fan in front of Nazz's doorway. Inside, Double D was opening up all the other windows and doors in the house. Eddy ran up to his creation holding a gas can.

"Are we ready, Double D?" Eddy asked as Double D leaned out one of the front windows.

"Affirmative, Eddy! Let me just…"

Before the smart Ed-boy could finish, Eddy had filled up the gas tank with fuel and flipped the switch, sending a blast of air circulating through Nazz's house. The wind blasted Double D out the window and across the street. The house shook as if it were being hit by a hurricane; what hadn't been washed out by Ed's laundry soap tsunami was blown out by the raging winds created by the fan. In no time at all, the house was completely dry, but also completely empty.

"Well, that worked a little too well," Double D muttered.

"No problem," Eddy said, dragging Double D back to Nazz's. "We'll just put everything back in and she'll never know!" Just then, Eddy heard the sound of a phone ringing.

"Hello!" Carrie said, answering it. "Uh-huh… uh-huh…okay bye!"

"Who was that?" Eddy asked.

"I forget," Carrie replied.

"That better not have been Nazz, or we're screwed!"

"Oh, it was her! She said she's getting off from work and will be home in a few minutes."

Eddy jumped up in alarm. "We gotta get this cleaned up!"

"I got it, Eddy!" Ed used a snow shovel to start shoveling away the mess in Nazz's yard.

"There's no time! Nazz will be home any second!" Double D exclaimed.

"So much for our vote!"

"What vote?" A familiar voice asked. Eddy spun around to see Nazz getting out of her car. "Oh wow, what did you guys do to my house!?

"We, uh, cleaned it for you!" Eddy replied, grinning sheepishly.

"We had a little trouble with the washer, though," Ed pointed out. Eddy jabbed him in the elbow.

"We can clean this up," Double D said.

"Just leave," Nazz said sternly. "I'll clean it tomorrow… on my first day off in three months…"

The Eds and Carrie quickly left and headed back to the van in the junkyard to hang out a bit. Eddy was waxing the side of the van, Ed and Double D were wiping down the windows, and Carrie was digging through a pile of junk

"Wow, we got off the hook easy," Eddy said.

"Yeah, but I feel bad about wrecking Nazz's house," Double D added. "Maybe we should do something to make up for it."

"Eh, her house had it coming," Ed said. "We've wrecked everyone else's."

"You know, Mono-brow's got a point. Too bad Nazz probably won't vote for us in the show."

Double D pulled out the flyer and looked at it. "Hmm, actually I think you read the flyer wrong. It says that Nazz will be there handing out Clucky's Chicken coupons. She's not judging anything. It says here that Rolf will be judging."

"What!?" Eddy looked over the flyer and groaned. "I'm _not_ cleaning any more houses…"


	9. Pest-Ed-Cide

"Pest-Ed-Cide"

**A/N: Last chapter for a while, I'm afraid. School has gotten a bit busier, and I'm trying to get another chapter of my Nuzlocke fic finished. But don't worry! I'll start updating this one again once things have slowed down! **

The Eds were on board Mei-Lin's wrecked ship, the _Blue Comet_.

"Whoa, check this out," Ed said, holding a strange piece of hardware from the future.

"Toss that in that junk pile, Ed," Mei-Lin said, rooting through a pile of burned, broken parts. "It's not any good." Instead of doing what he was told, Ed shoved the piece in his pocket while Mei-Lin wasn't looking.

"So, what exactly are you doing?" Eddy asked.

"Finishing up the damage report. So far, TOMAS has calculated that it will take me nine-hundred trillion dollars to make the necessary repairs and possibly another 87 years to reinvent the technology needed."

"Hey, who are these guys?" Ed asked, shoving a picture frame in Mei-Lin's face.

"Those are my old crew members," Mei-Lin answered, taking the picture. The photo had Mei-Lin at the front beside Carrie, with a short boy with glasses beside her, a taller, stern-looking young man behind Mei-Lin, and to the right of him a large being made seemingly out of crystal. "Of course you know Carrie and myself, here in front," Mei-Lin pointed out. "This is Masaki, some random Jap I picked up before I left Earth. He was big into his historical culture and used 'magic' swords, or some hoo-hah. And the short kid is my little brother, Dex. He's smart, but lazy and perverted. The big guy in back is Rentin. He doesn't like to talk or move much, so we don't know a whole lot about him.

"Fascinating," Double D remarked, overhearing the conversation.

"I don't mean to change the subject," Mei-Lin said, placing the picture on a table, "but shouldn't you guys be getting ready for that thing you're participating in this weekend?"

"Eh, we don't need to prepare!" Eddy struck a pose. "It's already in the bag."

"But Eddy, we still need to wax the van," Double D said.

"We'll do that tomorrow. Today, we're gonna hit the Peach Creek Arcade!"

"Cool!" Ed and Double D said in unison.

"Any of you got any cash?" Eddy asked, turning his pockets inside out.

"Nope, not today," Ed replied.

"Sorry Eddy," Double D also answered, turning his pockets inside out as well.

"Don't look at me! I've got to save as much money as I can for repairs," Mei-Lin added.

"Boys, it's time we bring back the scam!" Eddy said slyly. "For old time's sake!"

"But Eddy, we've done every trick in the book!"

"Damn," Eddy grumbled. He sat down in one of Mei-Lin's chairs and tried to think of something.

"Carrie's pretty creative," Mei-Lin threw out. "Maybe you could get some ideas from her."

"You boys got anything?" Eddy asked Ed and Double D. They both shook their heads. "Well, I guess we get Carrie… Where is the big-boobed wonder anyways?"

"Beats the hell outta me," Mei-Lin replied. "All I know is she isn't in the junkyard anywhere. I was just out there doing some work."

"We could check the cul-de-sac," Double D suggested. "Sarah was planning a picnic, and you know how Carrie gets around food…"

"Sounds like a plan to me!" Eddy lead his friends out the door, leaving Mei-Lin to continue her work.

Back at the cul-de-sac, in Ed's back yard, Sarah and Jimmy had found themselves stuck up a tree, holding what was left of their picnic. Below, the rest of it was completely ruined. The basket had been bitten in two, the blanket had a bite taken out of one of the corners, and standing right under the tree, Carrie was head-first in their bowl of coleslaw.

"My coleslaw!" Jimmy wailed.

"Get lost, ya bimbo!" Sarah screamed as she pelted the Sepian with acorns.

"Hey are you gonna eat those?" Carrie asked, pointing at the croissants Jimmy was guarding.

"She's after my croissants! If she gets her grubby hands on them, our picnic date will be ruined!"

"Ah, there's Carrie!" Double D shouted, peering over the fence. He carefully climbed over while Ed and Eddy burst through the fence, leaving a big hole.

"Ed, tell your stupid friend to get away from our picnic!" Sarah screamed.

"Okay, Sarah!" Ed walked up to Carrie. "Carrie, you have to cough up Sarah's picnic or she'll get real mad!"

Carrie stared at Ed for a moment, chewing on the side of Jimmy's coleslaw bowl. "Nope!"

"Somebody do something!" Jimmy screamed. "I'll pay anything, _anything_ to make her go away!"

Eddy's eyes turned to dollar signs. "Anything!? For three bucks, we at Ed's Carrie-Bee-Gone can make all of your Carrie-related problems disappear!"

"Three bucks!? That's highway robbery!" Sarah protested.

"But Sarah, think of my freshly-baked croissants!"

"Ugh, fine…" Sarah tossed three dollar bills down at Eddy, who grabbed them quickly.

"Okay Ed! Help me out here!" Eddy got beside Carrie and tried to push her out of the way, but she wouldn't move.

"Allow me, miss!" Ed said, picking Carrie up by the shirt. He tossed her over the fence. "Carrie has left the building!"

"Double D! I just got the greatest idea! We'll have Carrie annoy the hell out of our neighbors, then charge them to get rid of her!"

"Didn't we do something like this with Jonny?"

"Yeah, but Carrie's easier to manipulate," Eddy explained. "It's fool-proof this time!"

"And I should know!" Ed butted in.

"Prepare yourselves, boys! We've got a nuisance to get rid of…" Eddy brought his friends in close and grinned sinisterly.

Later that afternoon, Jonny was happily plucking acorns from the tree in his front yard. He was having such a good time, that he didn't notice the pieces of hotdog being flung in his yard, Carrie following the trail being made by them. She ate them as quick as they hit the ground. As soon as she reached the tree Jonny was climbing, the hot dog chunks stopped falling.

"Hi-ya, Carrie!" Jonny waved down at the Sepian. "You wanna help me pick acorns?"

Carrie stared up at Jonny, then noticed Plank on the ground. Still feeling quite famished, she picked up the hunk of wood and took a bite out of him.

"Plank, noooo!" Jonny wailed. "I'm coming, buddy!" Jonny tried to climb down, but his immense weight caused him to lose his balance, and he fell to the ground.

"Got any ketchup?" Carrie asked, spewing sawdust in Jonny's face as she spoke. The Eds strolled into Jonny's yard as he watched in horror as Carrie took another bite out of Plank.

"Hey, cue-ball! Are you having trouble with Sepians gnawing on your furniture, digging through your garbage, and eating your stuff? We at Ed's Sepian Be-Gone are highly trained to remove any unwanted busty, tailed, alien-girls from your home or your money back!" Eddy said, reading off a sheet of paper.

"Eddy! You gotta do something!" Jonny pleaded, grabbing Eddy by the ankles.

"Don't worry, Jonny! We're highly trained professionals!" Eddy pulled out a strip of raw bacon just as Carrie was about to take another bite out of poor Plank.

Eddy whistled, catching the Sepian's attention. Carrie immediately dropped Plank and ran over to Eddy to try and get the bacon, but he just threw it over into Rolf's yard. Carrie climbed the wooden fence after it, but one of the boards broke loose and she fell over the side, landing on several metallic objects.

"Ouch," Carrie groaned over the metallic racket she made.

"That'll be four bucks!" Eddy held out his hands in anticipation.

"No way!" Jonny replied. "Two bucks!"

"What!? That barely covers the cost of the strip of bacon we had to use! Four bucks!"

"Fine, but if she comes back in my yard, Plank's suing!" Jonny handed Eddy four dollars for his services.

"Now, it's Rolf's turn…" Eddy and his friends quickly ran over to Rolf's house.

The Eds hid in some bushes growing along Rolf's fence where they could watch the scene unfold. Carrie was digging herself out of the pile of spare tractor parts she landed in. She freed herself from the junk pile and went about the mission at hand, finding that bacon! Carrie scanned the yard and found her thinly-sliced, meaty treasure sticking to the side of Rolf's cow. She meandered over to the animal to retrieve it, but as soon as she made a grab for it, the cow stepped out of her reach. Carrie tried again, but got the same result.

Carrie started to get frustrated and made another go at the bacon sticking to the side of the cow, but the cow decided it has had enough of this blonde-haired intruder. The cow turned around and kicked Carrie back in the junk pile and returned to eating grass. The Sepian re-emerged from the pile, now _really_ pissed off. She pounced on the side of the cow and bit down where the bacon was. In a great deal of pain from Carrie's sharp teeth, the cow panicked and started running, Carrie clinging to its side with her teeth.

"Beatrice, why do you make such a ruckus?" Rolf yelled, hearing the commotion from inside his house. The cow ignored the son of a shepherd and plowed into his chicken coops, sending feathers and chickens flying everywhere. "Aiyee! Rolf's fowl!" Rolf grabbed the cow by the tail to try and stop it, but the cow just dragged him along.

"Hey, Rolf! We can make Carrie stop for five bucks!" Eddy yelled, emerging from his hideaway. The cow flung Rolf into the bushes the Eds were hiding in, Carrie still clinging to the side.

"Ed-boys!" Rolf yelled angrily. "Your friend has vandalized Rolf's chicken coops, and is bothering his livestock again! She? She clings to the side of Beatrice like a starving tick!"

"Oh dear," Double D moaned. "Carrie, you can let go now!" He ran after the cow.

Ed stared at the scene, stroking his chin. "Hey, Carrie!" Carrie looked over at Ed, still biting the side of Beatrice the cow. Ed reached in his jacket and pulled out a fully cooked turkey. "Time for dinner!"

Carrie eyed the turkey hungrily and she let the hurt and confused bovine go. Carrie ran at Ed, who held the turkey over his head, just out of Carrie's reach. Eddy grabbed a "containment unit" he rigged from a trash can and a few emergency lights and opened the lid. Ed was struggling to keep Carrie from getting that turkey. Her long tail had wrapped around it and Ed's arm, and had started to climb on his back to get the turkey. Ed pried the cooked bird from his grip and threw it in the flashy trash can. Carrie jumped in after it, and Eddy quickly put the lid on.

"Okay," Eddy said, pulling out a calculator. "That's three dollars for the flat-rate fee, plus four dollars for the bait, and another three for use of our patented Sepian containment unit…" Eddy did some number crunching, and held his hand out to Rolf. "That'll be twelve bucks, please!"

Rolf slapped his hand away. "You expect Rolf to pay you after the tailed Carrie-girl traumatized Rolf's livestock and laid waste to his chicken pens!? Is not the coo-coo brained Carrie-girl the responsibility of you Ed-boys!?Rolf should be charging you!"

"That's fine, we can just let her out and…" Eddy went to open the trash can, the sounds of Carrie munching on turkey bones coming from the vessel.

"No-no!" Rolf pleaded. "Rolf concedes, no-neck Ed-boy!" Rolf handed Eddy a handful of cash. "Send the Carrie far away from Rolf and his livestock, I beg of you!"

"You heard the man, Ed! Let her fly!"

Ed saluted Eddy and picked up the trash can. He shook it up as hard as he could, opened it up, and pulled Carrie out, who was stunned from the shaking.

"Time to fly back to wince you came, blonde space dweller!" Ed hoisted the Sepian over his head and tossed her across the cul-de-sac and out of Rolf's yard. Carrie flew across the street like a large, hair-covered dart where she slammed into Kevin head-first, knocking him into the back of his garage. "Ten points!" Ed screamed.

"Can we stop now, Eddy?" Double D asked, worn out and panting from chasing the cow.

"Are you kiddin'? We're just getting started! And Ed just set our next pigeon up for us!" Eddy ran across the street, dragging his friends behind him, and hid behind a fire hydrant in front of Kevin's house.

"Okay, who's responsible for this?" Kevin roared, holding Carrie up by the shirt collar. She was out cold from the impact.

"C'mon! Wake up and be obnoxious already!" Eddy whispered.

Seeing no one else around, Kevin threw the Sepian over his fence and onto Eddy's lawn. "Sheesh…" he mumbled.

"I suppose that's all the, um, annoying we're going to get out of Carrie for the day," Double D said.

"Yeah right! We just need to help her out a bit…"

The Eds went back to Eddy's house to retrieve their friend, who was still lying in Eddy's yard unconscious. Ed grabbed the Sepian and threw her over his shoulder. He and Double D followed Eddy to Ed's house, where they could work undisturbed (and so they wouldn't risk Carrie breaking any of Eddy's stuff.)

"You got any ideas?" Eddy asked as Carrie woke up.

"We could dress Carrie up like a stain," Double D suggested. "Those always get on my nerves!"

"Morning, guys!" Carrie chirped. "Ooh, my head feels funny…"

"Go back to sleep!" Eddy threw a lawn chair cushion at Carrie's face.

"What if we all used a catch phrase?" Ed asked. Carrie's eyes got big when she heard this.

"Nah, catch phrases are too '80s…"

"Oh, I want a catch phrase!" Carrie screamed. "It could be something cool like, 'sha-bam!'" Carrie struck a Charlie's Angels pose. "Or, it could be something awesome like 'meat ball!'" Eddy frowned at her, unimpressed.

"That has to be… The best idea ever! Carrie, every time you see someone besides us, I want you to yell 'meat ball' at them!" Carrie grinned, excitement penting up inside her.

"This'll never work, Eddy…" Double D muttered, putting his hand over his forehead.

"Eh, what else is new…" Eddy pointed at Kevin's yard. "Okay Carrie, Kevin really likes it when people tackle him while screaming the word meatball! Now got get him!"

"Yay!" Carrie cheered as he ran towards Kevin, who was shoving some old, oily rags in his garbage can.

"Let's go watch!" Eddy snickered, he and his friends running over to watch the scene unfold from behind Eddy's fence.

Kevin never knew what hit him. 165 lbs. of Carrie barreled into the jock, screaming "meatball" at the top of her lungs. Kevin was dazed for a moment, but felt a great weight on his chest. He opened his eyes to find Carrie standing on top of him, looking around.

"Where did that guy go?" Carrie asked, looking for Kevin.

"Get off me!" Kevin growled.

"Sorry," the Sepian apologized, stepping off of him. Kevin staggered to his feet; Carrie hit him harder than he thought. As he was standing up, Carrie wandered into his garage. "Stay out of there!"

Ignoring Kevin, Carrie picked up an electric sander. Curious, she turned it on, the noise frightening her. Carrie dropped the sander and ducked under Kevin's work bench and the sander went off on its own. It slammed into Kevin's nearly-finished motorcycle and knocked it over with a great crash, breaking one of the side mirrors. Kevin turned around and screamed in frustration.

The sander continued its rampage, knocking stacks of boxes over, breaking a couple of wooden saw horses, and knocking over the metal cabinet in the back of the garage. The sander finally met its end when the cord pulled free from the electrical outlet.

"Look at what you've done to my garage, you tailed freak!" Kevin yelled at Carrie, who was cautiously poking the sander to make sure it was "dead."

Carrie looked around at Kevin's garage. "Wow, you should really clean up in here…" Kevin growled, his face turning brighter red by the second as steam billowed from his ears.

"Yo, Kev! We can get rid of her for a couple of bucks!" Eddy yelled, trying to suppress his laughter.

"I should have known you Eds were behind this," Kevin grumbled.

"Us? No way! Carrie, uh, accidentally ate a whole can of coffee grounds and now she's, um, gone crazy!" Kevin looked at Carrie, who was banging a wrench on his metal work table playfully.

"She seems fine to me… What are you up to, dork?"

"We just want to help you get rid of her, and make a little cash doing it." The Eds all grinned at Kevin, who looked at them, unimpressed.

"Man you guys are pathetic!" Kevin handed Eddy a five dollar bill. "Just get her out of my garage!"

Carrie was now climbing in the rafters of Kevin's garage, knocking objects to the floor. Dodging toolboxes, the Eds approached the Sepian, holding a broomstick, a mop, and a hockey stick. They poked and prodded at Carrie, who responded by hissing and crawling into the garage's roof beams where they couldn't reach her. It was a tight fit, but now the Eds couldn't get to her.

"Carrie, you can come down now!" Eddy yelled.

"No, I like it up here!" Carrie yelled back.

"Carrie, it's lunch time!" Double D waved a bologna sandwich, trying to catch Carrie's interest.

"No thanks! I already ate!" Carrie replied, swallowing part of some old, wooden lattice work.

"Get her out of my garage!" Kevin screamed, growing impatient.

"Oh I'll get her down…"

Eddy pulled off one of the rubber boots he was wearing and threw it at Carrie, but he missed and it bounced off a beam and hit Eddy in the head. Carrie closed her eyes and blew a raspberry at him. Ed reached into his pocket and pulled out a fruitcake.

"Um Ed, how long have you had that?" Double D asked.

"Since Christmas," Ed answered, sizing up his target. Double D grimaced with disgust.

Ed threw the long out of date holiday dessert, the long-hardened cake smashing through several support beams. The cake hit its target, smacking Carrie right in the forehead. The mischievous Sepian went out like a light and fell backwards, the fruitcake embedded into her forehead. Unfortunately, she wasn't the only thing Ed brought down. As soon as Carrie hit the ground, part of the garage roof collapsed on top of her, the Eds, and Kevin.

"Got her down!" Ed said triumphantly, emerging from the rubble filthy, bruised, and snaggle-toothed. He had Carrie slung over his shoulders, still out cold.

"Good work, Ed! Now let's go get Nazz…" Eddy started digging his way out of the wreckage, when he was stopped by Double D.

"Um Eddy, I think we have bigger problems…" Double D pointed at Kevin, who was also digging himself out of the wrecked garage. He held a broken pipe in his hand.

"You dorks have had it now," Kevin growled.

"Run for it!" Eddy screamed. He tried to run away, but his foot was caught in a twisted wire.

"Wait, Kevin!" Double D jumped in between Kevin and Eddy, who was cowering on the ground.

"Move it or lose it, Double Dweeb!"

"If I may intervene, how about we negotiate instead of undergoing another act of clichéd cartoon violence?" Double D's answer was a swing of Kevin's pipe, which he narrowly dodged. "Run, Eddy…"

The Eds ran, Kevin chasing them and brandishing his pipe. They ran all the way across the cul-de-sac and into the alley.

"Just like old times, huh guys?" Ed said, still hauling Carrie on his shoulder.

"Shut up, Ed…" Eddy grumbled.


End file.
